dark red
stains
decorate your
face
discolored lips
speak of anarchy
Hands with gun powder
embedded into finger prints
murderer takes over your
identity
loss of appetite
gain of hunger
thirst for spilled blood
takes over your stomach
Your mouth begins to salivate
as you pull the trigger
they sometimes say
we are what we eat
So then what are you
Author notes
What do you eat?
The point of the poem is when you do something too much you become addicted,
It takes over you.
Sometimes you need to stop and look in the mirror,
Before you become something you don't want to be.
bones7
A contest entry
- that don't impress me much by j-ay rose.
600 points, ended April 9, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do You Want It? Do You Need It? Let Me Hear It.... Ladies and Gentlemen...!!! by JinSays.
725 points, ended March 7, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i like the theme of your work here. its pretty interesting to say the least. i particularly liked the last three lines. thank you for entering my contest.
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The focus of the piece is addiction?
Is that right?
On that note, I'll comment.
I agree with everything you say. I wasn't sure where your focus was at first, thank you for the author's note.
Thank you for your submission, and best wishes to you,
Jin -
Meat is murder? I am addicted to cheeseburgers.
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Amazing! A very simple & direct piece, yet the message is profound & moving. I love the strength in this piece ~ the idea that yes, we can be overcome by many, many things, but one thing is never just life.
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This is brilliant!
i really really like it, i got goosebumps!
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Excellent
I think that you did an excellent job in this piece. Perfect poem.
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I wonder...
what inspired you to write this?
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WOW (again) Thought provoking piece here!
Very deep and the imagery is excellent, the line ' discolored lips speak of anarchy' is a powerful phrase within itself!
Excellent job kiddo!
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I liked that...it caused a lot of imagery
and I thought it was cleverly written. You put all the
scents in it for our minds and tastebuds to awaken and
enjoy! Smartly written, you are really growing poet!
Really growing!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )))
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I like your take on the common expression "you are what you eat". I take this as a war poem, so how can you eat war? Perhaps this relates to "you get what you give". We give hell, and then we are given it back.
Hmm. Very curious and deep poem. Well thought-out and given much time and effort into the whole making. Excellent view point with vivid detail.
Thanks for sharing!
M a r l u x i a
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So cool a good read, I'm not sure I'm gettin the message but that's good! some poems are not suposed to make sense. I do like your other ones better, but this is a good poem.
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Wow! This poem is deep, but you did an amazing job with it. The imagery was very vivid and just awesome. Excellent write Bro!
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Brant
The global warming is starting to get to you, isn't it?
If I was what I eat, I'd be in a stew right now!
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Oh my goodness what a write
This write reminds me of someone who feels they have no life no friends and have never been loved . They hide in a room and wont talk or see anyone yet they feel no one cares . Being they themselves have shut down for any other contact how would he know .Yet in his minds eye he wants to retaliate, punish those who appears happy and wants them to feel his pain . Sad indeed just imagine it never being taught love or be loved in our world today where violence is everywhere our children watch it and it sinks in like a drug turning the mind to evil where love should have filled the void now that child is lost and annoyed and he takes it out on the world around him
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if i was what i ate, id be trail mix right now
good job
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