For you, I'd watch the dawn
Between butter-toasted breakfasts.
The sun dispatching the horizon
As blond honey suckled at your lips.
You never played for me.
Butterfingers dropped the bow
Decrescendo dissovling into aquarel aloofness.
I found myself in a red-wrist fury
Plucking the cello's heartstrings.
But the stubborn beat throbbed on.
She sticks with you while I gave you the sun.
We were two instruments swirling in a sonata
You could have saved me from my self-inflicted solitude…
A Magnum blasts the finale into an aborted sunset
As I gun the sun down.
Author notes
"Anna au violoncelle" is the name of an aquarel I recently painted. The name is french and means "Anna (playing) the cello".
I tried to use several metaphors to express my current feelings: breakfasts, the sun and the cello. (chosen instrument!)
Each metaphor symbolizes something specific... I tried to portray my emotional response to a personal experience I've been through.
I know some people like guessing for themselves so I won't say more... but if you want to, you can IM me to ask me something or suggest something. (I know I'm not perfect! Though I try to be did my best)
A contest entry
- finger music: strings by Nicolette.
1050 points, ended February 25, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
D'you like it?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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must be a lovely watercolor to have inspired this!
Well, Hi and happy new year to you, Artiste! I tracked you down to this unknown user name by recognizing your avatar and going back into your last contest. I'm sorry now that I removed so much of my work from this site in earlier days but glad you have a copy of "Lute" kicking around somewhere. I thought of it again recently as I had a passage in Latin that was taken from the fretboards of an Elizabethan lute on my page
I was alive in the forest
I was cut by the cruel ax
In life I was silent
In Death I sweetly sing
Hope the fact that you haven't posted in close to a year means you're busy and happy in France!
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thanks so much for the message! I haven't been here for a long while and it's really nice to hear from you.
I really loved Lute. Now that you've mentioned it I think I'd like to reread it sometime, yes it lingers somewhere in the middle of my files 
thanks for that passage, a fresh taste of poetry after so much time spent away from AP... although have been studying poetry in class for exam... but not quite like this!
indeed am very busy in France, but happy too. not writing so much though
how are you? still a very active poet I see. that's fantastic.
All the best, and Happy New Year!
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wow!! that is beutiful!! i love it!! good luck in the contest!!!!!!! i kno iv commented this before but i love it and yall need to kno i luv it!!!
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i love the last line, "as i gun the sun down". a beautiful piece, beautifully written. the title really grabbed my attention.
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wow
wow... that is... wow... *speechless*... wow... omg wow.. that is.. just... wow.... that is great... omg.. i dont know what to say.... wow!... thats all I can say.... that is... just.... WOW!!.... THAT IS SOOOO GREAT!!! OMG!! I AM LIKE SPEECHLESS!!! THIS POEM... ITS.... ITS..... ITS MAGNIFICENT!!! GREAT JOB!!
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Thanks... Even though the feeling this is based on is more or less in the past, it is an important personal poem to me... Glad you liked it
Hope you've recovered your powers of speech 
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sorry
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"We were two instruments swirling in a sonata" - loved the sound of that line, the alliteration. I was thinking of a morning song while reading this poem...breakfast is indeed my favourite time, and meal, of the day, and your poem allowed me to enter the mood, the colours, the sensations of early morn, and music being made.
A lovely piece of writing that shows an intensity of emotions. Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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thank you very much for the comment - sorry I accidently clicked on four stars instead of five... I think we can re rate after a day or so? (I'll try to do that)
I'm more the staying up late type, don't really do mornings... Except when I went to sleepover at this person's house and we'd get up very early... and sometimes wake up in time for dawn... she was my best friend... .
Good luck with the contest!
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Interesting title captured my attention and I wasn't disappointed with poem. Unfortunately I must to agree with previous comments - it is not good for any poem to over-use some words. all other, in my humble opinion was very nice written.
~Sonja~
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thanks a lot! have taken a line out... thank you for the advice
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i thought the word 'butter' was over-used, but aside from that, i found this a nice slant on the prompt.
life certainly does surround the instrument
thanks for creating this for us
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Thank you for the advice. Have cut a line out.
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Strange, I did feel it was over-used too... I kept it because it was supposed to symbolize three different moments. But I agree for the flow it sounds a bit weird.
Thanks for the advice. I'll see if I can find a better word.
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Fantastic
Incredible. Just let me a little more time to figure it out. I'm trying to guess
After 2nd reading: my favourite part is the last line. "As I gun the sun down". I love the internal rhyme "gun"/"sun" and these harsh, monosyllabic words make you sound ruthless and harsh. Incredible.
And I know what it's about. I got the hint first from the title, though I know it was pure coincidence that you picked a painting with this title.
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