Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Communication

The look in his eyes,
softly intense; a message
I don't understand.

Author notes

I know haiku are usually about nature, but whatever. I don't even know what this is about, the words just felt right.

Comments and Critiques

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Kitesen
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem but not haiku, sorry. Watch the rules for haiku avoid long sentences, although it looks in form well do not go over the the seveneen beats, counts or syllables. It doesn't fit the simplicity haiku asks for.
    Take a good look at Haikumonk's colomns on haiku. her's a link http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2340439 or follow one his classes.
    It's not the only failure but to understand it takes some time and training. Everyone can learn it. Give it a try.
    good luck


    • Sarah Elizabeth
      February 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, but I do not understand about the syllables? I have 5-7-5.

      • Kitesen
        February 10, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Oh I might be wrong about syllable count that's because in my language it is possible to break in it in nine pieces L2. Dutch that explains it all