Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Fifteen Seconds

Missing image

Fifteen Seconds

Fifteen seconds… not bad for a barrel race
If I can knock off one second, I can win
I can just see the look on daddy’s face
He promised those boots, made of calfskin

Fifteen seconds… If I can shave that time
It’s got to be me, it can’t be the horse
I know I can do it, I’m in my prime
Over and over, my mind runs the course

Fifteen seconds… Damn! that horse scoots
Just one more second and I get new boots

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Picture prompt: 10 lines

In a list

Comments:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • HeavensDaughter
    February 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This made me smile. I loved the image it created in my mind.

    Nice flow and rhyme.


  • Faeryn
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such an awesome write! I love it! Exspecially the ending couplet.

    -Tay


  • Desire gold member
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Magnificent!

    Loved Your take on the picture prompt~
    Wonderful weaving of words in Quatrain
    You are so darn good at forms...
    -takes out autograph book-
    Another one I want to read more of...
    and You have Inspired me to give this one
    form a whirl...

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet One
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • second-born
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good...the perfect piece to go with the picture...I think you've done an awesome job in digging deep in to the wild thoughts of the 'cowboy' girl...good luck!


  • Pisces Pieces
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so...I want to say cute, but I don't know. I love how we are brought inside the mind and thoughts of someone as they contemplate how to set and achieve an outcome

    Fits the picture perfectly, you can see the thought in her body language and you took us inside..


  • HeavenScent4U
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful take on the prompt Amera, you have gone where nobody else has and done it very well. I love the idea behind this, very fitting for the image and I love the repetition, it works very well here The background is also very nice. Thanks for entering and good luck. be well and be blessed


  • sunny day
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I feel like I just watched Seattle Slew come from behind and win that big race. What wonderful imagery from the words you have penned for this contest. Short and so succinct were your words. The new boots will look great riding the winning horse. It's absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing the gift of your illustrious pen with all of us and best wishes in the contest. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wowww princess this is so great i like loads the horse the boots good lucks dear


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    Was going through bookmarks today and saw your older poem Widows Walk and thought I would look up something new by you..
    Love barrel horse races...and you penned this on the nose...
    Also I like the repition in this as well
    I also like the pic you chose to go with it..and the background as well
    Best of luck in the contest...
    Hope you drop by and give one of mine a read as well
    Susan~~~


  • PerVirtuous
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very cute poem. The repitition of the phrase "Fifteen seconds..." is very powerful, and very well used. I do not agree that this is one of your best, as I have read some fantastic poetry from you, but this is exceptional for what it is. Should place very well in the contest.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Y'know what, Amera, I have always appreciated your skill at form, no question of that - you're breathtaking in that respect. But this poem, even without the picture, captures time, place, mood, character, in a totally convincing vignette. It is very, very good. I simply read it and... how can I put this... it flies free from the form, has a life of its own. Brava! I think this is one of the best things you have ever posted here.


  • BellaD
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great take on the picture prompt. Well written quatrain. Wonderful form poetry, as always!


  • Swan song gold member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes that can be how it goes on the amatuer scene in the big leage they play for a big check I think you caught the moment however excellent


  • cricketjeff gold member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Charming, wonderful take on the picture and an unusual form, I suspect it could be technically classed as a curtal sonnet, but would have to look it up to check.
    Maybe the best ending couplet I have see today (well excluding one poem today I'm not allowed to comment on)
    It isn't lack of respect that means I'm not commenting in form, I'm just decasyllabled out for the day. Great write as always.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice looking gal like that, she knocks off five seconds I'll buy her some Lizard boots, and if she has a spare three hours...dinner.



    Yeah, love them cowgirls, always have, still do.

    Dad

1 - 15 of 15