rainy days
on a window sill
dry azaleas
In a list
A contest entry
- Weekend Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended February 11, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
-
oh very good. This is pretty good. Poor azaleas. lol
Being tortured by the rain that is outside. Yet they don't get fed.
Quite nicely done. -
I love this haiku !
great contrast and wonderful imagery ...
love the spare use of syllables as well as the "sandwich-technique" (forgive my ignorance about the appropriate term
), where the fragment and the phrase are interchangeable ...
rainy days -
on a window sill
dry azaleas
rainy days
on a window sill -
dry azaleas
these are my favorite kinds of haiku ...
congratulations on the gold !
mari -on
-
Ah this was the contest we discussed the other night. Ok. I think this is one of your best haiku ever and azure45758967576 seemed to agree.
Though I still like the monkey and godzilla ones too. 
Now it's 2000 I think. I was wrong before.
-
-
Thank you!
-
-
congratulations
Hello!
What a good haiku. I like it hugely, it is awesome. No wonder it won the gold award.
It's very clever, especially the see-saw way the middle line works.
I feel sorry for the flowers as it must be torture to them. I like the way you make me feel emotional with your images.
Congratulations,
BJ.
-
-
Thank you so much for liking it!
Mari
-
-
Ah! This is indeed an excellent haiku because of imagery and perfect contrast of images(juxtaposition) between rain on the one hand and dry flowers on the other. Very nicely penned. Also, I like the layout of this haiku with L2 being the longest line. If I may suggest only one small thing - I think in L1, it would be better to say "rainy day" instead of rainy days. Congratulations on the GOLD!
All the best,
Charishma
-
-
Thanks Charish, rainy day is how I wrote as assignment to Don's advanced class, for some reason I added a 's' here and saw it later, but was lazy to edit
Hugs,
Mari
-
-
Oh did they ever need the rain! Beautiful! It's been a long time since I visited you Gaze
Congrats on the Gold. Well worth it love!
Always ♥
Renee
-
-
Thanks dear Renee! ye, Gaze has missed you, all my corners have been missing you
The little one looks like he is ready to make their parents pull their hair out, he looks like a brat, reminds me my Godson.
Loves,
Mari
-
-
Congratulations.
-
Congratulations on Gold, a worthy winner!
Katie
-
Cute - nice contrast - just what haiku are supposed to do. Congrats on taking gold in this week-end contest.
-
nice contrast..i had to look up azaleas..didn't know what it was...but now i do.
.nice piece btw..and good job on the gold -
That is the key huh, write haiku, they read then...guess I better shorten my comments too.
I like "sense surreal's" comment, she deserves a read.
I already told you I like this but I'm never one to shy away from a comment...
It's a stark contrast, the wet/dry, in/out, free/trapped, images, etc.
Not that I suggest this is anything more than a haiku...I could...if you weren't bored ( ) explain how it suggests more about awareness of feelings, and other stark images of human emotion...but I won't...(he smiles sheepishly.)
-
Poor azaleas
Water them woman 
lol
great 'ku mommer! There's a reason behind the fact that I don't have one little plant in my house
-
one doesn't need a digicam to captures one's beauty of an image...
with this haiku...the image is so vivid and picturesque
i love the image...i'm imagining beautiful postcards with the words
miss you
Anna Lee
-
-
Miss you too!!!!!!
-
-
rainy days
on a window sill
dry azaleas
Oh, great images in your haiku, and what a great contrast with the rain and the dried flowers. Thank you so much.
-
Oh I am so bad at watering my pants -I never thought of them thirstily looking thought he window...we live in a very wet valley... but I will from now on! Nice haiku.
-
-
The only plant I have, often looks at me very angry
Your name is cute
-
-
It's not only your plants that needed this water. Mine too. Good solid haiku, direct, simple, visiual, twist.
But take time to take care for your plants too
Wim
-
Oh I like --- And guess what it's raining here today. The Azaleas are out there.
-
lovely!
what a wonderful haiku!!!
i love haiku with pivots and yours works beautifully in this case.
there are all those rainy days outside and yet the azalea is suffeuing from neglect just on the other side of the wet window pane. what an excellent juxtaposition you have put in your haiku.
all the very best in the contest,
myron.
-
-
Thanks myron, that is exactly what I had in mind, glad you read it so well
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 25 of 25
