Sinuhe the Egyptian

"Once you have drank from the Nile..
Tasted its rarity, its intoxication..
You will long for the Nile again."

From the ashes of poverty I rose like the nature of the Nordic spring..
meeting the world's miseries, pain, absence, abandonment and slaying of souls!
I was found floating on Nile's waves.. richest water I have ever lived to know.
Mercy shone its light upon me the day my foster-parents found me helpless.
Since then they called me "Sinuhe" after The Story of Sinuhe.. regardless..

They knew Sinuhe was a hero.. a man still mentioned in tales of my home.
Was I one? I cannot say. I was but a royal physician of an extraordinary fate..
I'm in exile on the shores of the Red Sea. There is no more desolate spot on Earth!
No monument will mark my resting place for I am called Sinuhe - he who is alone.
Alone I was from the moment of my birth and alone I still am in my death.

I am writing this for my own sake. Not for the gods, not for the pharaohs.
Not for anybody who is alive and breathing. No, I am merely writing this for myself.
I have seen everything, experienced all one human being could ever feel and see.
My words shall not be repeated by humankind. Never. For I will perish nevertheless.
There is nothing new under the Sun for a human heart is still capable of such..

..such evil that has not improved for the better. Yes, such is the world we live in.
Hundreds of people witness abuse, experience it and repeat the same. Continuation!
He is the same regardless of death's cruel taste. His heart is a stone. Heavier..
than his sword. His emptiness emptier than dust. His hatred even worse than lust.

Worse than the hostile crocodiles of the Nile.. I have lost too many. Indeed,
I travelled from the land of Kem to Syria. From Syria to Mitanni. From Mitanni
to Babylon. From Babylon to Minoan Crete. And finally.. I was among the Hittites.
I have met many but the world is still the same with only two women in my heart..
still haunting my bitter memory. In the corner of my mind.. a place so dark.

I shall mention Minea. Oh, my Minea. My Cretan treasure of joy. Daughter of Minos!
A keen performer, a dancer she was. Young and fragile, soft and pure at heart.
Soft and pure.. but naive. A priestess is nothing but a slave deceived.
I do not expect you to take my word for utter truth but my opinion remains.
O' Minea.. why was it necessary to become a sacrifice in the labyrinth of Minos?

Was it not enough of Ariadne? Minos, bring my sister back from her afterlife!
No.. no, there was no real Minos. There was but a broken image in front of me.
A broken Minea floating on the silent waves of a river in a dark cave of illusions.
You believed so deeply. Yet you, my sister, met your destiny - unpredictable one.
The only woman of my heart you were then.. for our chalices of wine met with love.

And I shall mention my delicate Merit. But I shall not contemplate for too long..
The true mother of my son. A woman who granted me the gift of being a father.
Yet I did not know. Nor did my son. Only she, my unforgettable bittersweetness.
I had you there. Yet I did not live in your presence. Never heard your sweet song.
And so you left me with our son. Pushed against the wall.. for flames destroyed all.

I was once richest in the country. Now I am as poor as a person could be..
Yet my memories - rich. There is no comparison.. and I shall not preach either.
I was born to learn.. that I was the only one to know my true identity.
I have learnt from my spirit.. I was of true royalty. Yet it cannot be proved.
It never shall be. For I shall die alone.. like I was when I was born. Again..

And still, in my memory and heart I conceal all the bittersweetness I can hold.
My deceased lovers, my long forgotten friends and my beloved land.. Kemet.
No sands compare to the sands of Kem. No noises compare to the busy noises of..
Thebes - city of passion. Let others cleanse and purify themselves with the pure
waters of Ammon. I will but cleanse my heart by writing these scrolls in the cold.

Let others let the troubles of their hearts be weighed by Osiris. I shall..
weigh my heart with a feather pen of reed. I have done many deeds, good and bad.
I do not hesitate. I do not expect to meet the gods of Kemet in all their glory.
I do not expect an award, an applaud or compliment. I would not be surprised..
I, Sinuhe, think that the gods are not better than humans or animals..

For we all have a ka.. we are all souls and avoid being devoured.. as I tried.

"My golden chalice I would switch..
For a crock if my feet could step again..
On the soft ground of the land of Kem."