You leak acid down our
mighty skies with your bizarre
contraptions that belch out filth.
Spewing this blasphemous poison down
humanities', long open ignorant throat
Author notes
(I've never written a contest poem like this really... So this is my first try ~~ How'd i do =] )
Prompt: My view on the world.
http://allpoetry.com/images/ext/Contest/2390/323.jpg?1202658998
In a list
A contest entry
- 5 lines to write 5 words per line by badddgirl.
300 points, ended February 24, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Last line needs another word.... Suggestions?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Bravo!
Your poem is exactly to the point. Feeding poison
into ignorant throats.
It was not until 10,000 years ago that man developed a new thought...agriculture. To store and feed people. Expotentially this has caused global feeding to millions. Ironically, the more the wheels turn the closer we come to our own extinction.
Bravo!
Betsy Holzner
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belching filth
I love this; its angst and its truth.
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Passionate and Powerful
Hm, I like short poems.
And I like poems with passion.
I like poetry that doesn't hold back,
And poetry that seems to spit in your face.
This poem has all of that.
Therefore, I like this poem!
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wow short and poent to a tee'
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This should read, "Humanity's" long, open, ignorant throat, etc. Also, bizzare has two "z's", and the comma between, "contraptions" and "that," is unnecessary. That said, I like this little poem, and for the last word, perhaps, "esophagus," "maw," "gullet," etc. Anyhoo, good job and good luck! - oce
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Thank you for the corrections, I shall look at those. But, are you sure bizarre is spelled with two z's? I'm pretty sure it only has one, with two r's... Actually I looked up 'humanities'' too.. It seems to be right, also...
Thanks for pointing out these errors though ~
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Very good write. Best of luck in the contest
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Guilty as charged. Good write though short and sweet. Happy trails
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Great
An Unique Piece filled with passion, emotion, and lots more. A Very Well Done!!!
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Thanks for the visual
it wasn't even necessary to take a peek at the picture prompt-First try-great Job Good Luck in the contest!!
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Haunting.
This is so pessimistically cynical...I LOVE it! The imagery in such vile wording just left me wanting to scrub myself clean of my own humanity. Few have been able to invoke this in me so...very well done. Even though it was so dark and short, it really hit the message home. -
don't damn humanity, we have enough problems
rather, bless humanity, so we can solve them.
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A brilliant point and subject. i wish there were more people who thought the same way. it would make the world cleaner and our lives and the life of the human race last a bit longer. we don't deserve this world we're in.
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Qoute of Moral
A scripture poem in short verse. But a Qoute of great moral. Words shine great with a meaning, a cry of the need to be heard.
Good write at a contest poem perception
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This is a very strong and deep write...well done for the limits of the contest...daring and bold...I feel this way so much about "humanity" lately, I can truly appreciate your words.
Keep up the wonderful work.
mystic
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wow this is really different. i can tell you have talentXXXloveXXX saphera 24
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i really like this too, its nice to see you write this grotesqe (in an evil way not bad) if there was anything id say, it would be that lines one,two and three read directly into each other, like a single sentence, while then at line 4 it just stops, i think you could keep it going throughout the whole thing, but that doesnt even matter, its really great, GOOD LUCK!
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Ok I like this, yes it may use a bit of work and rhyme, but I love where you are going with this!
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