I long for the bandage of innocence
To hide the burns
And the scars
From the uncovered world.
The terror and abuse
Of living
Pollutes the mind
That was once filled
With sparkles of love
And promises kept.
I long for the impossible antidote,
As the final drops of purity
Roll from my cheeks,
Escaping the poison of truth
That has corroded my virgin soul.
A contest entry
- Your air will be an enemy... by tragicallyGifted.
1600 points, ended February 11, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'd like to argue with the other comments. I don't feel the emotion. And I've tried, I've read it 5 times and it still feels dead to me.
The images seems to clash with eachother. It doesn't flow well enough. And I don't really see how it all fits together. Call me picky, but that's just how I feel.
Good luck in the contest. -
Amazing! You have expertly radiated your emotion to the reader. I had to take a minute to recover. Thank you for this.


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wow, i love all of the emotion put into this poem. awesome write. the background goes well with the poem also.




