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Darkness brightly shining

Darkness, brightly shining,
  night....remorse
Blinding light behind me,
echo.. empty voice
Darkness calling softly
screaming , crying bells
Hooves pounding pavement
choking...acrid smells
Light is lost..Oh!! the cost
blindness, seeing brightly
Darkness brightly shining
all ahead... behind me

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Shrat
    February 10, 2008

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    Awesome!!! Its beautiful and flowing, rhyming slightly, but not to the point where it overpowers the main idea. Great write you have here!


    • Dwn
      February 11, 2008
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      thanks whisper, Thats pretty much what I was trying for

  • Charity Ann
    February 10, 2008

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    I liked all the contrasts, dark vs. light, screaming, crying bells, blindness...seeing clearly, darkness ahead and behind. It reminds me of the biblical book of 1 John. That author contrast dark and light a lot too. Nicely done.

    . Rewarded 4

  • Westley
    February 10, 2008

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    Consumed by a contradiction hey? This poem perhaps scrapes the top of the emotion - what is underneath? How can we dissolve the contraditions?


    • Dwn
      February 10, 2008
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      the solution is different for every reader, but every reader has one if they look into themselves
1 - 5 of 5