she knows why the priest
purses his mouth
tighter than a Nuns hymen
at confession
she shields her eyes
because she has no dark glasses
to stop him
seeing her soul
he may see flashbacks
of her body
being invaded like Iraq
feel the fire
of explosive forces
as she experienced
several small deaths
now she is not a novice
to be married to God
but barren land
covered in crosses
wearing a hairshirt
and a crown of thorns
In a list
A contest entry
- What Is She Thinking? (Pic Inspired) by Asylaarix.
425 points, ended March 8, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
constructive comments welcome
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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a journey down the religious path that was smashed beyond recognition i think for the woman here because of the madness of the priest. a good poem.
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Love this!!!
Powerful, funny, vulnerable & revealing...
A short piece that expresses so much in so few words...
Yet another style of yours that I am not familiar with, & I love it. Faultless...
Another great write...
Well done!!!
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smile when i read priest purses - nuns hymen + again at dark glasses impressive stong ending stanza thanks for sharing this why not submit this to THE CATHOLIC WORKER eh regards a bemused zaj
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excellent..
very strong voice & powerful poetry this is.......
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This is very good. Knowing how "others" feel and think yet not thinking to care about it. A question..why would one need dark glasses to stop him?
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Thankyou, the eyes are the windows to the soul, without dark glasses to shield her eyes she worries he can see inside of her.
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You say such deep thoughts
I like how you double in meaning.
You are not a woman of cloth
but a woman of the secret moth
who dusts the night sky with
sprinkles of magic powders.
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Thankyou dear poet, lol at the woman of the secret moth, that made me smile. Thankyou for reading and sharing your thoughts.
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I can see
why you have so many 'golds'. You speak 'human'! I felt slightly uncomfortable when reading this poem - not for its contents, but the message it conveys. Are we not sometimes in a similar position? Perhaps it is easier to experience than to read it of another. I have just read some of your quotes and the are thought-provoking - the same as this poem! Frans.
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Frans, thankyou very much indeed, I am touched that you feel I speak "human" for I do write from the heart,always from the heart. I understand the message may make you feel slightly uncomfortable, it's a write where I have, metaphorically, stripped her down to her soul in the hope of portraying the weight which she carries within. I don't often write in the genre of dark unless it sheds light. Thankyou for your thoughts and am also glad that you found some of my quotes thought provoking, they are all little nuggets of some of my beliefs, love and light, Yvette
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oh my gosh Yvette!!
I'm stunned at this one
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Thanks aj my friend
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excellent
the last stanza is why you are a favorite
the imagery throughout is astounding, yet you have this way with wit....much like Alexander Pope of olde
and I love it
a real smack in the face this morn
thanks for that
peace and hugs
Muddy
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Thankyou very much Muddy,
I am heartwarmed by your thoughts on this write and by being on your faves also, peace from across the pond, Yvette
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What always strike me about your poetry is the way you write from the heart, poetess; the way your compassion speaks through your poetry. And this poem reflects that essence of your soul so very well. Excellent metaphors here - some even made me smile, but mostly your work grips one by the heart and says "look...see...touch...becoming involved". This one speaks of vulnerability, especially of women, and the power some "healers" hold in their hands - either to build or destroy. Yes, superior work
~ Nicolette
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Dearest Nicolette, thankyou and bless you, you nailed it, I had hoped to say and portray those things. Thankyou again, love and light, Yvette
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This is superior work, my friend--a mature and powerful piece which probes deep into the soul of vulnerability and guilt. Your phrasing is also fresh and extremely effective and I can say in all honesty that this poem is one of the best I've ever read on AP.
Excellent writing.
Bill
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Thankyou Bill, oh my, am overwhelmed by your thoughts on this piece, thankyou again, Yvette
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Damn you are good, some very, very unique imagery you have put into this piece and yet you still leave the reader to form their own conclusions.
If this doesn't place then there is something really wrong with AP.
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Thankyou Colin! Am pleased you found those facets within this write and thankyou for your encouragement, all the best, Yvette
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Wow. This has great imagery in it. I can feel the passion which you have so expressed so well, as is due the subject. I am sure that if your judge is non-biased you will do great in the contest.
Good Luck,
John
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Thankyou for your thoughts John,as always they are appreciated, One Love, Yvette
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Awesome - the similes are off the freakin meter. Nuns hymen? Damn!! what an intense vision and thought. Pain and the shame i saw on the picture. You went beyond that. You laid it out- Good luck!!!
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Mykeeeeeeeee, thankyou for reading and your thoughts, glad you liked the similies and did not think them a sin, keep the faith, love and light, Yvette
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Yvette, these words are near the remote edge of a mindscape that few dare visit. But that would be nothing compared to actually being there in real life. Most would probably have their condemnations ready to throw at the clerics involved, but I would not dare to judge. All I would like to say is that no man can look at a woman with innocent eyes and it depends on the awareness of the male's mind how he will restrain (or not). In addition to that I have a problem with (corporeal) authority, but in many respects my set of personal principles are more strict and sincere than society's standards, especially where personal relations are involved. Anyway, this poem reflects on matters that are beyond the preparedness of society to consider. It gave me much to ponder. Thank you for that and the best of luck in the contest. Take care,
Chris
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Thankyou Chris, you have showed me yet another interpretation that had not occured to me. I did not intend to place judgement on the priest as a priest or as a man but to simply say within all the complexity that the judgement could not be changed by the priest, the girl has a desparate need to know she is pure and worthy but even though the sin was commited against her she is considered impure and cannot continue as a novice nun.
The good news is there is an order of Nuns in Wales that is open to women who are not virgins and who wish to devote the rest of their lives to God as Brides of Christ.
Thankyou again,
Yvette
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Yvette..this is perfect!..I had to look at the prompt to figure out who, but, the genius of this piece is that it's every and all, huh? You're so smart! Heavy, heavy words...but yes, true.
P.S. I think Jayda liked it too.
Love,
Jin
P.S..We have BRAND new ducklings....four!..I'ma good momma duck..lol
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Thankyou Jin...glad the piece spoke to you...congratulations on being a good momma duck lol and the four mew ducklings...how sweet!
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oh wow ... I don't know if this is supposed to be funny ... or if this is supposed to be sad ... but either way ... wow ... that's all I can say ... is ... wow ... that was powerful ... very ... lovely piece ... thank you for entering the contest and best of luck to ya
♥Jayda♥ -
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Thankyou Jayda, the poem is written to explore how bad she feels about having had her body brutalized and her virginity taken, it leaves her with the memory she didn't want made and the judgement of the Church that now she cannot be a Bride of Christ,she was a novice Nun and now is bereft because she is shamed inside her body and the body of her life with the door closed to her simply because she was forcefully taken. She is a tortured soul and feels even her priest cannot understand.
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...as tortured as the theme photo!
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Thankyou DogFish, am pleased you found the poem emulated the tortured soul within the photo. I can't post pictures as am a free member at present, yet didn't post pictures when was a silver/gold member, for I hope to write a piece that works independently of the picture and yet speaks of the picture when viewed separately.
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LOL Incredible sense of humor. Wonderful fricking metaphors. That fourth stanza is off the fricking chain. Who are you, woman?! I guess I'm gonna have to peruse your poetry, eventually. Tonight it's beer and Naruto/Dragonball Z. Tomorrow, I will violate your lines. Well done.
Dez
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Thankyou, it's interesting that you found this humouros as that was not at all my intent, however, poetry is open to interpretation,Amen to that,please feel free to share more thoughts tomorrow after beer and Dragonball Z
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{I can't even say "wow"}
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Thankyou Wanda
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wow....that's all i can say, is just wow....
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Thankyou
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