To a rose that will not stop weeping,
To a frightened mother of three,
To one who holds all the burdens of our family.
~
You are the rose ~ entwined around the three of life,
your scarlet pedals, so opened towards the sun,
as if a revelation has begun in your sweet bosom,
for what you think; said has been done,
Your bittersweet emerald vines, grotesquely clinging,
into the deep bands of life permanently tattooed on her bark,
but life, she will not leave you in this state: so entwined,
is it clear: your destination – so blind in the dark,
There are so many others: thriving in your wake,
the lilac, the lily and on your heart: the iris,
ignore their beauty, lifes' lover ~ the rose,
in your mind they are her downfall; infection; virus,
You have born their sweet souls, implanted in life,
they are your loving children, which blindly cling to you,
thin vines of love, intertwine these three,
not daring to touch your ragged grasp of deadly hue,
But, still you are ignorant for their love of life,
you must – consume them, for they have consumed your love,
or perhaps they have not, for you still breath blissfully,
you encase them, in a web of vines from above,
You have not forgotten, you have born them, so long ago,
their loyalty to you, lingering fresh in your mind,
you crush their entities, strangle their vines,
a fatal fact: you have indeed forgotten: thoroughly blind,
The iris. She sits upon your heart, so solemnly confined,
for she loves you most dearly; her thought divine,
as you enfold her in death, death takes you too,
life lovingly departs as you -
finally
resign.
Author notes
I was thinking about replacing resign with decline. Which do you think is better/makes more sense? idk
As any kind of release poem, it just doesn't flow. It's as simple as that. =]
In a list
A contest entry
- The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you feel my anger?
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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great picture of nature here. Kept it running like a movie in my head.. great one!
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You write with great imagery and flow. You have touched on life and it's truths. I liked
"But, still you are ignorant for their love of life,
you must – consume them, for they have consumed your love,
or perhaps they have not, for you still breath blissfully,
you encase them, in a web of vines from above," Best to you in the contest.
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Wow I think this is an exellent penning filled with lifes bitter truths
You weaved some great imagery throughout this poem,and the flow I think really has a foot hold in the pieceAnd the ending you chose for this really fits
Thanks for sharing you talent
Tony
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enjoyed the poem...the first line is striking...leaving some sadness in our mind in the end...
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Oh wow nice poem, it is very well written. Do you have some of your poems in a book? If you dont you should. I also like how the poem tells a story. I have to say i like resign better to the ending of the poem because it creats more of an impact to the ending of it, and also fits in with the rest of the vocabulary of the poem, which is also good
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Brilliant, utterly briliant. It takes you on such a journey through emotions I had forgotten I still had. Beautiful work, only the dearest of thoughs for you
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No...resign..like resignation...giving in..it's perfect.
Decline would be like slipping away slowly
Would not fit.
Wow! your are a freakin great writer.
This was very intense.
It took me somewhere.
It meant something personal to me.
But aside from that,
you have an ability to come in on the peripheral side of the brain.
I started reading and saw the hall marks of a universal and articulate poet.
This made me feel
so it is Art to me.
Great great job.
Thank you for taking time from your life to read my work.
The greatest thing that a fellow human being can do for another is give of their time.
God bless.
MANY MANY BLESSINGS MY SISTER,
LOWELL POE
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I love it! It's a gorgeous poem! What do you think about when you write? It makes me sad. It reminds me of my mother. Are you writing about your Mom?
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beautiful!
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Resign is definitely better. Lends a powerful ending, with real impact. The metaphor here was strong...but maybe a little too drawn out. I think you could have held my attention a little more if you sharpened this into a more succinct thought. I did enjoy it....One mistake. In line 5, "pedals" should be "petals." Thanks for sharing!!!
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i loved this, it was very beautiful even though the meaning was a bash poem.
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This is absolutely stunning. I'll tell you the truth, I almost didn't read it (sometimes I skim through every poem before I read one properly, just dependant on personal preference) but your astounding metaphors and beautiful (and I mean that in every sense of the word) imagery sucked me in, because they stood out on the page. And right from the first line, my attention was drawn in and I was absolutely transfixed.
There are some very poignant issues you are dealing with here, and you have addressed them in a very elegant and beautiful manner. Well done! You say it doesn't flow, but I feel it has a rhythm of it's own.
Ps. Resign sounds fine (excuse the rhyme) but decline sounds more upsetting and brings images of deterioration. Either way, it works, so it's your call
God bless,
ELW x
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I understand. I also do not get along with my mother.
While reading this poem, it sounded as if you were praising her, so I was surprised when I found out it was a "bash" poem. But all throughout it, you can tell you were mad and needed to get something out.
I like the fact that it left me confused. Good write. -
I like it
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Holy Cow!
You have so much talent. You're only 15? That's amazing. I really liked all of the imagery in this poem. Its a piece of work that brings itself into your very ... being? [i'm not sure if that's the word I want to use but... ]
I wish I could write a dedication like this to my mother.
Great write.
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Haha... Thank you for the compliment! I really appreciate you commenting my poem.
Hehe. I find it funny that you would like to deicate this to your mother... This was a 'bash' poem. And I feel as if my anger fills these lines.
~Thanks for reading it
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..wow
this is absolutely fantastic. your rhyme and rhythm are amazing, and how you portray your feelings onto paper just shows the mass amount of talent you posses.
I havent read a truelly inspirational and talented poem of such calibur in awhile.
as for your question?
Its up to you, Resign makes it feel that its finnally her time to rest after a period of greatness and a positive note, at least to me, as decline feels more so the opposite, more so on a negative and saddening note
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yo check dis I be readin yos poem and I says me likes me likes yo
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Wow...this is really beautiful. What a fitting tribute...you are right, it doesn't flow...but that's okay because free verse often doesn't. However, sometimes the power of emotion is found in free verse. I like it! It's fantastic!!
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