The Theater Snafu

My friends and I went to the theater that night.
Don't remember what we saw, try as I might.
To the snack bar we flew, our goodies to buy,
then headed to our seats with a contented sigh.
Down the aisle to the front, our seats we found
and waited for the movie, joking around.

Part way through it I could feel nature's call,
so back up the aisle I went to give my all.
Smugly believing I remembered which door,
I made my journey with my eyes on the floor.
Hurriedly into the restroom I did go
when this horrible smell made my nose go "whoa"!

Briefly questioning such a smell in the room,
business minded, into the stall I did zoom.
So focused was I that I missed out on seeing
the rest of the room in which I was peeing.
Looking through the crack I about dropped my jaw
when a man coming into the room I saw.

Amused at first I was silently chuckling
Until I heard his belt unbuckling.
To my horror to a stall he did not go
as enlightenment dawned in my mind so slow.
In my haste to enter I apparently missed
the urinal on the wall into which he pissed!

I pulled up my feet so as not to be seen
Wond'ring how on earth to get out of this scene!
I waited as he finished, holding my breath
and feeling totally embarrassed to death!
He left and I rushed to be out of there quick
as my heart raced in a double-time tick!

After quick hand washing I rushed to the door
desperately wanting this all to be o'er.
I yanked it wide open and to my surprise
there was a man standing there, shock in his eyes.
He looked at the door and then looked back at me
standing there stunned and in helpless agony.

Taking pity on him I gave him a quip
and told him "YOU got it right, this is MY slip"!
He seemed so relieved to be out of the heat.
Rememb'ring his look, I returned to my seat.
I pondered whether or not I should dare
with my friends of my escapade to share.

Relieved and barely containing my giggles
I sat back down my body all a jiggles.
What was up with this girl they wanted to know.
So, with laughter, I told them of my "woe".
When we looked to the back and watched him come in
it was too dark to see if he wore a grin.

What had happened clearly his friends he told
about the crazy woman who was so bold.
Not many were there in the theater so small.
Within minutes, the word had spread to them all.
I sank in my seat for surely they knew
that I was the one who before him came through.

I learned two hard lessons on that fateful night
as I look back on it with perfect hindsight.
I never assume that I know the right way
to the ladies' restroom on any giv'n day.
On the restroom door signs my eyes always dwell
because, oh boy, do the men's restrooms smell!


February 9, 2008