They use the wrong word intirely, when its called a crime of "passion".
To me passion invokes a feeling that a painter gets when he or she paints
a beatiful woman, or ceiling where a man touches the hand of God.
Passion is the writer who's masterpiece brings you to tears.
The crime you commited was a crime of selfishness. You snuffed out her life so easily, with no though of all you destroyed. A mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend. All around these titles so devestated, where no words could ever explain.
You were selfish the first day you again decided to snort that line and take that first drink. You continued on the path so long even though you fooled everone into believing you were better. You made a clear choice to continue on this path. How long did you expect her to stay. Believing no one but you could make her happy, yet another selfish thought.
So you took her life and never looked back till the day the bars were closed.
Leaving behind all the lost who will never get her back. Crime of passion the newspapers say, but that is so wrong. It should just say "Brutal Crime".
A contest entry
- UUUUUUMMMM, anything goes. Make me feel what you feel. by RanaeS.
500 points, ended February 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the black hole were your soul used to be by nobody knows me.
750 points, ended February 23, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Once More I speak to unsilence the issue by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
6000 points, ended March 8, 2008, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Originality With Meaning by The Slant.
525 points, ended February 29, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry by Aeonna.
1090 points, ended March 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Family Dispute by MasochisticallyJess.
300 points, ended March 25, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - drugs by dust -in-the-wind.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i like this poem
you did a great job here
good luck in the contest -
the idea is really cool. i think the writing could be more poetic. i like how at first it is detached and then i get this sense of you knowing the people involved in this "crime of passion." you spelled believing wrong. the last line is supposed to be a clincher, but it doesn't really do it for me. i think you could come up with something more intense than "brutal crime." i do like the capitilization though. thanks for entering,
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you have nailed this with a strong sense of pain and the words are powerful to the topic. it holds truth I do not understand how people think it is right.
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Yes!
How true! You've nailed this! No crime of Passion should be the taking of another's spirit nor life. "Brutal Crime""Crime of Passion" Um...gives me an idea. Thank-you for sharing your wonderful talent. Best wishes in this contest.
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Thankyou for entering my contest good luck
x
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You have made a very interesting point here, I find myself in full agreement with you. Not something I have ever given thought to before but I know this will stay with me most of the day now. Very well penned
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Thank you so much for your kind comment, I get very few people who comment on my stuff. I appriciate it Im very new to poetry. Thanks Again
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