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Is This Where I will Be?

Wrinkles everywhere
Hunch upon the back
Glaoucoma taking over
Diabetes setting in
Hair losing blonde pigments
and slowly turning gray
Starting to fall out.

Is this where I will be?

Peering through the looking glass I see...

This is where I'll soon be~

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • And Hyetal
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Imagery: 1 point
    Theme: 1 point
    Use of Form/Flow: 1 point
    Other criteria: 0 points
    Overall Appeal: 1 point

    Hmm...I like your take on the prompt here, but it was a little choppy. You probably could have used a couple of metaphors to get your point across. I kind of felt like you told me, but didn't show in this poem.

    But everything else was okay, so this was overall a solid write.

    thanks for entering!

    ~Cassie