Walking down a long gravel road,
No cars can be heard,
Bag slung over her shoulder,
Her hard life had hurt her.
She didnt know where to go,
Her black hair blown about her face,
A fork in the road,
Four ways to go,
She better walk fast-paced.
She heard a car,
And turned around,
A red corvet it was,
She dropped her bag,
Covered her eyes,
And took a step ahead,
A car came,
from the other way,
A blue one,
Like her moms,
She walked out more,
The red car swerved,
Aiming for,
The other one.
Time froze then,
And the girl saw,
Her mother indeed it was,
Her father the other,
And she killed them both,
For her own selfish cause.
Author notes
Nope... no notes!
A contest entry
- What Is She Thinking? (Pic Inspired) by Asylaarix.
425 points, ended March 8, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I know it dont rhyme, is it ok?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
interesting. ♥ i like it.
-
interesting. Why would she kill her parents though?
-
wow sweet it hits a interesting thout i love
-
-
thank ya*
-
-
lol awwwwww thats cute
-
-
im good at what i do i think
-
-
well thats a good gift ... my gifts are wasted on me i can do them well but the vesl is not quit well
-
-
lol. You seem ok.
-
-
-
-
-
-
I'm not sure if you copy and pasted this or if you just hit enter after each sentence to create the double spacing, either way it's a tad annoying. If you copy and pasted you can press SHIFT and ENTER at the same time between sentences, but you'll have to hit the backspace button at the beginning of each sentence before hand.
"A for in the road,
Four ways to go,
She better walk fast-paced."
A great write -
-
i didnt... I wrote it. just then.
-
-
OH wow ... what a twist ... that was amazing ... I loved it ... you really put yourself out on a limb with this one ... it was ... wow ... very well done ... good luck in the contest ...
♥Jayda♥ -
This is very good. It reminds me of Carrie Underwood's music video for her song "So Small." The girl walks out in the road, one car swerves and hits the other car. It tells a story, and has a lesson inside of it.
-
It's Great.
Don't worry about rhyme, it's great like it is. It tells quite a story in such short lines. I couldn't stop reading it. At the end I felt short of breath. Though I don't understand why the girl would feel at fault. Perhaps in the way most children do when parents are fighting. But it's not their fault. Great piece.
-
Wow. Intense poem! Poems don't have to rhyme in my opinion to get the image and emotion across. Great job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
