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Wild Abandon

Admonitions
fall on deaf ears;
self-control dissolves
as I dive into your eyes.

Author notes

[13 words]

A contest entry

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Comments


  • SignifyingNothing
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is great! Sensuality in just 4 lines. I really love the concept of 'diving into his(?) eyes" Really great stuff in such a small package. It is so hard to write a poem in so few lines that seems complete, but this does seem very complete. It works just fine, no need to add more.

    I like it a lot.

    Thanks for entering my contest!


  • Naridill
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'self-control dissolves'

    Love the sly inner rhyme and beautiful phrasing. An intriguing piece here.

    Thanks for entering,


  • paullallady silver member
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is a very powerful piece of
    poetry. These few words paint a more
    powerful picture than a hundred words
    could. wonderful. good luck in the
    contest.