i see him in the hall
standing by his friends
talking to his girls
oh, who i just i could be them
what would i give to be his friend
no know really knows
what shall i say
to make him feel his way
if i could only know
my friends all laughed at me
at the thought of him
they said he was the cutest boy in school
and i would never win
so inside i kept my feelings
for many many years
until one day
i broke into tears
i couln't take it anymore
my love was just to strong
many tears run down my face
as i silently sobbed
my friends tried to ask me what was wrong
i just said goodbye
as i ran for the door
not knowing my intention
they let me go
to do the unthinkable
they must never know
now i'm running to my kitchen
and grabbing the sharpest knife
i slowly put it to my wrist
i'm about to end my life
to make all my pain go away
is this the right price?
now i'm laying on the floor
bleeding from my wrist
i can hear someone knocking at my door
and someone screaming
my breaths are getting slower
and i'm starting to give in
as i feel my last breath approaching
i fell your mouth against my lips
"come on" i here you say
hands pounding on my chest
please don't give in
i love you too much
A contest entry
- pain for love by EmberLynnRayne.
600 points, ended March 3, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Feelings by Harbinger of Death.
355 points, ended March 3, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #53 turning silver to gold by daviscth.
300 points, ended March 5, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I wanna hear about pain.... by boydamaged.
550 points, ended March 3, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i dont see why like you would cut yourself because you like this person but... well, great poem, the end is the best part
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dont worry i dont cut myself
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Very deep. I liked it. Thanks for entering, and good luck.
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This piece was so full of imagery and raw human emotion. Thanks for posting in my contest and good luck.
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thx for the comments
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Very powerful, this poem is one of few that I have read that sent chills down my spine. Thank you for sharing this with me and stand strong. Good luck in my contest
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wow its awsome, i love it...
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this poem is so good.i can't believe that SOME PEOPLE don't like this poem.
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Nice try...But not loving it. Thanks for entering, though! Let me tell you something, why don't you try and put a twist on the scenario? Make it seem something more than(and I'm sorry for this term) emo. It's just the same sort of thing in a lot of poems and stories.
Feel free to re-enter, if you'd like. -
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did i mention i was 12 what do you expect i am taking a chance entering ADUIT contest
i know i can't please everyone........but i'm ok with that just please give young writers a chance -
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I'm giving you a chance, by treating you like an adult. Treating you like a child wouldn't be giving you a fair chance...I'm not trying to be mean, I just have a tendency to come across that way, but I wrote things very outside the box when I was 10-12.
If you need any help, inspiration or otherwise, let me know. -
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ok thanks ummm.. i have other poems that are not about suicide actually o think that this is my only poem and also i just wrote this poem off the top of my head and i have never been in love before and i can't death to i'm 16 i still have 4 years to go. Please read my other poems and tell mr what you think.... i want to be a writer but this site has really opened my eyes to the many yelenteed writers out there and might as well start off with the creatisim now thxx
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