rabbit tracks
in the fresh snow
aimless
In a list
A contest entry
- Weekend Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended February 11, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haikus by MyDecember.
450 points, ended March 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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You have captured a special moment with this Haiku, great observational piece and so true! Well done my friend!
Dennis
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i like the way you ended it
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I love this haiku -so many things to think about. How will we ever know what they were doing?
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Indeed not only the tracks they leave seem aimless but their whole behaviour seems pointless. I think they get pretty confused in the snow.
good luck -
I had two rabbits (just one left now) and see the image of this haiku very vivid in my mind.
So very well done!
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Interesting observation of a detail!
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A strong haiku. This is a scene that I've come across many occassions.... "aimless" nails the haiku down prefectly with just one word and one beat. Fine job.
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rabbit tracks
in the fresh snow
aimless
Very interesting haiku about nature, you can see the images clearly. Thank you so much!
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A vivid picture you have painted here with your haiku.
The last line reminds me of some tracks I saw in BC Canada... they seemed to go every which way, I couldn't tell where they were going.
Well done.
Katie
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So much imagery
In only seven words, this is better than a quickie, and is very in-depth! Your centering looks sweet with your short words, and I enjoy the bounce to the first line, sounding like them.
in the fresh snow has a wonderful sense of cuteness to it continuing the launch with a good idea that coincidentally, there's two first things with only it's footsteps. That truly shows how the crystal flakes haven't been there long.
L3, the aha is priceless. For me, I can imagine from just a few prints, you can't tell where he is going to keep going. A resonance would be that this little creature might go to his home because it's snowing, or he could want to run around to get warm. One final thought is, the snow is coming down and will cover up the previous marks, as to not knowing the path anymore.
Intriguing as many ideas from this one, so great job!
SplishSplashPencil
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