(I was at Glastonbury festival
on the day my father died)
Morning melted into mourning
air melding brim of summer blur
fitting in a way
so real in brilliant
yet surreal
complexities
for most,
a diamond of a day
Dishevelled
Sunday throng
talking loud and
mawking long
furred on by
swollen tongues
drunk
on skunk and
last gasp cigarettes
sweating out their
saturnine songs
of bonding
Lost
clock stopped after sunrise
yet early afternoon
swirling in the last
of green scented
dream field grass
when
Andalucian guitars
thrummed to me in
allegoric magic.
And how I crumbled
as you strummed
familiar chords
so fanciful yet free
humming
blue skies from pain
from way back when to me
just one lost soul
and
how I wish you were here.
Author notes
A contest entry
- Pink Floyd Lyrics Inspired by Cerulean Sunrise.
475 points, ended February 18, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Originality With Meaning by The Slant.
525 points, ended February 29, 2008, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold-tastic [prewrite contest!] by Tangled Angle.
525 points, ended February 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Again by californiagirl.
800 points, ended March 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Excellent write. This piece had great flow and great imagery. A clever use of metaphoric language...reading was like a song. Sorry for your loss.
God bless
Nevadapoet
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Sorry. I meant poem, not person, in my comment. My fingers were on automatic pilot.
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I didn't really find this to be a very appealing person. I don't really know what it was, specifically, that made me want to turn away, but I just really wasn't fond of it. Thanks so much for your entry and good luck!
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This poem is about the day my father died - hence it was a surprise to learn that you were looking for something to be fond of. Oh well, nevermind - obviously the wrong compo. Thanks for your correction though, as to say that my father wasn't an appealing person was not the best thing I have had to read of late. Please beware of automatic pilots!
Emerald Dog.
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Yes, how you wish he were there. Can feel that longing, that pain and sadness all through the poem - your author comments even make it more meaningful. Congrats on the gold - well deserved in this contest and others.
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Lots of passion and emotion.. very well written. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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this is a brilliant piece of art. i hate to critique on this but i don't like the butterfly pictures along the side. it distracts from the greatness of the poem. "and how i crumbled as you strummed" is so beautiful. your poem fit very well into the genre of poetry i was hoping would be in my contest. great work.
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Many thanks for your kind comment - I agree on your point re the distracting BG - so I have made it plain. Thanks again
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WOW
The emotional ride brought me to tears for my father gone 20 plus years. You have placed your cloak upon my soul and I thank you Brother and Son for sharing your heart. Welcome to the AP Family. You are blessed with a great talent. -
This is completely mind blowing in that emotional aspect! Very well written piece composed to go along with the song prompt. Bravo poet!
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I knew this one was amazing... Congrats on the gold! Well deserved!
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My favourite of their songs, and what a fitting tribute to your father. Your poem is great, the emotion that drives it is powerful and controlled, giving birth to a new life that flies on with love and regrets. From the first line, through the /green scented dream field grass/ to the final heartfelt wish, this held me. I will think of it every time I hear the fishbowl song, now.
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I'm so glad you entered my contest.
I enjoyed the read. -
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Dear Mark
It is very late here in the UK – and just before turning in – I thought I’d quickly log in to AP to catch up on how things were going. Winning this Gold is a great surprise and one that means so much to me. As stated, I was at Glastonbury Rock Festival in the UK – when I was awoken at 6.00am on Sunday by a call from my sister - informing me that my father had passed away during the night – following a prolonged and difficult battle with Motor Neurone Disease (ALS). As you can imagine, I was emotionally distraught during the day and entered something of a dream-like state. At 3.00pm, I found myself lying in the sunlit grass near to a stage that specialises in acoustic acts. A Mexican duet (Rodrigo Y Gabriela) were playing incredible Spanish style music that drifted in and out on the winds blowing through my mind. Emerging from a fiery, rock-driven flamenco, they suddenly changed the mood completely and played the most moving version of Wish You Were Here that I had ever heard. My father and I both loved Pink Floyd and this was one of our favourite tracks from one of our favourite albums. The couple of thousand people watching spontaneously sang their hearts out – I joined in and mine simply burst. I dedicate this poem to my father – and yes, how I wish he was here. I am so grateful for this award and would probably never have expressed these feelings appropriately without this contest – thanks again.
Kezz
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This is truly a very emotional take, but with such depth and potency. Wonderfully penned echoes of the heart, reaching... A beautiful interpretation of the song, and the sadness it can encompass. Best wishes in the contest!
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Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words. I really appreciate your comment.
Love & Peace,
Kezz
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