concentrated hatred
turns you jaded
after awhile
cynical laughter
rattles ear drums
pessimistically
Verbal contradictions
leave heads turned
in all directions
Tasteless humor
burns taste buds
black and irritated
Sarcastic compliments
tease good intentions
to turn homicidal
Worry eyed stares
yell of discomfort
anticipated reaction
sweet sweet satisfaction
Author notes
I don't know
I started putting words together.
Please give your interpritation of it
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I can see in this a party, & that is where the scene is. So many things we hate in a party, how low we feel as your surrounded by all these things... Yet, the alcohol, the drugs, sadisticly, the satisfy us.
I think you must've known the message when you were writing this!
The form is also amazing, with expanded with thoughts that're negative & the the spacing in the ending emphasizes the intensity.
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Excellent
Totally excellent. You captured an image of a person seeking satisfaction by justifying his belief in pure freedom. Reminds me of philosophy. And that my friends makes this a kick ass poem.
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The imagery outline is reallly good.
Perhaps you are searching for a metaphor to pull it all
together, you write as a spoken voice, have you ever
tried to pick an image and give it a voice?
You'd be a natural at it!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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I can see this in two ways:
general satification OR
a drunk person who is blandly satisfied.
I feel like the POV is a person who feels s/he is being satisfied, but in all reality, it is not the way they wanted it to be.
I love the style you used..
Such as:
[general idea]
[two lines
of explaination]
Nicely done!
M a r l u x i a
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i likr this, an avalanche of vocabulary colliding into the reader,
(i hate to point this out, but i think its worried eye stares, i could be wrong) PEACE
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wow that was very interesting, i liked it!
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Whoa. . .It's defiantly interesting, a mind grabber. I'm not sure what it means but thats a good thing. I have read better from you, but this is really good. I'll have to read it tons more times. . good poems always come out in trances
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for something that you just started to put together, this is excellent. its amazing what comes out when doing it this way. the truth seeps out in ways just like this. two sides of a coin. one is nice and peaceful, the other can hurt like hell and be mean. you did an outstanding job on this.
kat
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So...just slapping words together, hoping they will combine to something intrinsic?? Not bad then, they go together well and weave a feeling through them, almost a growth and learning tale. Perhaps the feeling going through the mind of someone presenting an argument, thesis or point of debate before his peers?
The start "Concentrated hatred turns you jaded, after awhile" seems to me to be a comment about feelings received from others rather than expressed by the subject, that feeling seems to continue throughout the piece and gives me an image of someone trying to learn or present to a group over many occasions and responding to the feedback, firstly outright negative, then going to intimidatory until by the end of it the subject succeeds in presenting himself; receiving the result that was what was wanted.
I liked it; the short lines, containing a suggestion of an idea, combined well with the lines before and after them, expressing intense moments for the subject very well. You did a good job with this, because I can't find a fault with the structure or make up of the poem itself, all I can find slightly wrong would be in the author notes 'interpritation' - interpretation.
hey, I had to find something
Adrian
P.S.
Sorry for the long comment, but you did ask for my interpretation, hope you got something out of it
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Another great piece Brant!
It's always great to just sit back
and brainstorm like this. Sometimes
our best works come from that. Your
words are very true and well thought
out my friend! Great work and keep
them coming! Thanks for sharing
this one here!
Jeremy0826
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this one is real good, easy to see what u are talking about... good job!
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I take it as... someone sick of the sarcastic pessimist world we can live in, sometimes.
I loved it, ten stars...!!
. Rewarded 4
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Dear Brant
You're going to be a journalist for sure!
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Good group of words
When one holds resentment within and doesnt clear it up with another they become sharp with that person then they ignore that person in time they hate them and when they try to find out whats wrong they become loud and obnoctious bringing atention to themselves and becoming frustrated with everyone around them . It hapens all the time because people just refuses to be honest and so often what was said was never meant to be taken the way you interpreted it . Ah words they can sooth the heart or cut like a knife .
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