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Is She Good Enough Now?

Beautiful girl, bruises on her face,
Lies curled on her side upon the floor.
Crimson liquid drips from her wrists,
From the wounds she inflicted upon herself.

Dark child, wandering one,
You're not the only one in pain.
He sees you, when you're down and hurting.
Sees the fights and hears the cruel words.

Don't abandon all hope,
Hold on for one more day,
You'll make it through.

"I don't care anymore."
"He says I'm not good enough."
"Stupid girl, worthless thing."
"I can't stand another day of his fists colliding with my body."

Is she good enough now?
Now that her blood runs red,
As she's breathing her last?
Do you see what you've done,
Tearing her apart each and every day?
Is she..
Good enough for you now?

Author notes

Blue-Eyed Vampyre



http://www.stylicious.ch/cpg/albums/Art-Work/Wallpaper/normal_dark_girl.jpg


EMO
for the Emo or Goth contest

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21
  • celadia
    April 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was quite a telling piece, so insightful.


  • crazymomma
    April 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So sad. You have great imagery and make me feel her pain.


  • Charity Ann
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very touching and very sad. It actually reads like a song to me. I think it would make great lyrics. Did you write it as a song? Anyway, I really connected with this emotionally. No wonder it's won gold. Good luck in this one!


  • wolfcub
    April 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I haven't read much poetry like this (mainly because I don't really like this) but this piece has something a bit different. It's really beautiful in a sad way, and you show the emotions and pain really well.
    Thankyou for entreing and good luck
    Katie


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Once someone has hurt you, it makes you hate yourself and when you hate yourself you blame yourself, blame leads to harming yourself and that's what happened here. Often enough the person who hurts you wants to be the only one who hurts you and is angered by you hurting yourself. They don't want you to die, especially not by your own hands, they want all the control. This type of thing makes me angry.


  • j-ay rose
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this reminds me of a poem my friend wrote in high school. she had it printed in the school paper. its sad... kind of typical of hurting teenagers, but nonetheless it is pretty decent. thank you for entering my contest.


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    still crying. Oh my god. I loved this. Thank you so much for writing this and entering it into my contest


  • LaylaLace
    March 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written!

    Good luck in the contest!


  • Sunday Rain
    March 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your 5 out of 20 writes

    Congrats!!!


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    March 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You know, I really would have loved it, aside from the whole wrist-slashing thing. I understand that the contest is for both Gothic and emo writes, but I just feel like this could have had such an impact, yet fell short, just because the whole slit-wrists thing is so overdone these days. Anyway, good luck in the contest.

    Laura


  • daviscth silver member
    March 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    At second reading, the imagery still blew me away..


  • Sunday Rain
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    U R 1 out of 18
    Congrats!!!


  • Sunday Rain
    February 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Amazin' write


  • MusicMattnessLives
    February 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. good job. i really liked "is she good enough now?" it really shows how you feel. the man killed the girl by hating her. it almost made me cry. good job and good luck in the contest.


  • Manorexic
    February 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was wonderful. It conveyed so much emotion is such a short piece.
    bravo!


  • Hidden Fortress
    February 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow....

    This is an amazing poem. I read the poem your mom wrote about you and saw the comment you left. You are so lucky you have a mom that loves you and cares about you... I feel like we have a lot in common... My real name is Kristen...


  • over the rainbow--x
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This had really strong emotion in it, the first stanza:
    'Beautiful girl, bruises on her face,
    Lies curled on her side upon the floor.
    Crimson liquid drips from her wrists,
    From the wounds she inflicted upon herself.'

    gosh, that just throws you into the piece.
    This was amazing [=

    Thanks for entering, good luck in my contest [=

    ♥


  • Ryno
    February 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The emotions were very strong & this was a relatable piece but it just seemed too cliche for me to like at some point ... thank-you for the entry


  • Laura-Critchley
    February 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very, very powerful write; thank you so very, very much for sharing this with me. This is very good.

    I don't know what to say =/


  • xXsoulxcollectorXx
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    man,this poem is very good,it made me remember myself,very good great write...thanks for entering the contest...

  • Mom of Blondes
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Heartwrenching!

    Disturbing imagery and emotion. Heartwrenching when someone is trying to reach out to her and tell her that G-d sees what is going on and cares but she is beyond the point of being reached. She has been destroyed to the point of destroying herself. What a tactic of the enemy. He will use people to destroy others and to get people to destroy themselves. Devastating for the one who tried to reach her and is now in the face of the one who helped destroy her with piercing words that will probably never reach his cold-hearted soul. When will people see how they are used by the enemy to destroy others around them. What an evil time we live in.

1 - 21 of 21