running late
between cobblestones
my shoe
Author notes
really true
Written to haikumonk's advanced study of haiku class
Comments
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pivot
running late
between cobblestones
my shoe
your haiku have improved enormously over the years and this is very pleasing to see. Don's haiku classes are truly wonderful and they teach us many different techniques of haiku.
i like what i perceive in your haiku. the shoe comes off while she is running late for an appointment or date. there is an evocation of frustration as this will make her even more late.
excellent work,
myron.
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I love this one, how the aha-moment can be considered being either in the first or last line ... (I forgot the technical term)
you would make a great haiku-teacheress ...
maa
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Wow
I visualized this all taking place on thre streets of San Francisco and any ways well you are on a crowded street and you try to recover your heel when some ccars start coming by so you leave it behind and just make it to your intended destination but any ways with that being said it is indeed easy for that to happen but over all this is a great poem
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nice
so compact; so easy to fell
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OMG. I love this one! Such an AMAZING haiku... beautiful writing! Now, I feel like doing a haiku class Great haiku, Mari
- namita
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Thanks namita, and yes, you should give it a try, it's so enjoyable to write haiku, well it is for me.
Big hugs!
Mari
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excellent~
Love this
Only I wish you had told what happened to your shoe
LOL
Hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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all this needs is these 6 words that you have in this poem and I can envision the whole scene.. 'tripping and falling' in my mind...lol..wonderful and ..be careful
...
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Thanks! I'm a kind of walking accident
You look pretty!
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you have definately told a whole story
in these three lines. One can imagine
what has happened. great job on this one. -
YEs and still they are afraid in Bruxelles to see any advert in the sky. Now I know why..
This is haiku as haiku is meant to be. Simple, direct and visual.
Hope your shoe has survived
Wim
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The boots weren't made for walking, neither the streets lol
Thanks Wim
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This reads like Mothers lesson number fourteen. - Always wear clean underwear my dear and sensible shoes. Oh and carry two handkerchiefs, one for each cup. ---- Yours is much better. --- Thank you.
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Thanks Eric, your comment made me laugh
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a picture comes to mind, cobblestones and dressy shoes and the skill it takes to navigate...very nicely done...PK
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Sometimes that skill fails when those stones are all irregular.
Still I got my boot out without a scratch
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Poor you. Legs feeling stiff today? I like that you've alluded to but didn't exactly explain that you were wearing some type of pointy heeled shoe. What's this teach us? Lots of thing like, wear appropriate shoes...spoken by a guy who shovels snow in his sneakers.
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Okey, I drank a tad bit too much port and it took me about 25 minutes to stop laughing and being able to write this down
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Did you drink? Poor Jovy
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Oh My!!
Wow~~ You know how to speak without speaking in so few words with a punch of POW~~~
Love this one Beautiful!!
I had to chuckle at this one
I'm Happy to get to comment without the Internet hiccups
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too my Friend
and much love~ Desire~*~
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