"Is this really happening?"
The dust never settled
but revolved like a carousel
skimming surfaces and continuing,
lord knows the spot it was looking for.
Inhaling plaque
charred to a pipe
whistling stories
that never happened
they were weightless,
a lighter consistency
then air,
then she floated this one out
into the atmosphere,
a bubble she had no clue
if it would land, or rise
and pop,
"Is this really real?"
They puffed in the dark contemplating
existence with a wretched feeling
sitting at the bottom of their stomachs
like rocks wait at the bottom of a pond.
She answered herself in vain.
"I know this is real
because I touched your heart
and felt it was gold,"
She said recklessly
warming another soul
if not her own.
He ran her fingers through
her ashy hair with
a solemn tone of breath
issuing slowly.
"You've mistaken the solidity
of the heart as gold.
It is copper.
I have fooled you."
He walked away.
A contest entry
- Copper by porksnorkel.
900 points, ended February 22, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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These doesn't seem like a poem to me - more like a short-story or flash-fiction piece that is missing the character's names. Have you thought about developing the idea that way?
Thank you for your entry.
Lisa -
You have chosen your categories well, I'll give you that.
Painful and sad. -
a lighter consistency then air?
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Interesting story, I like the flow of it all, Nice write.
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Ephemeral. We are children in the land of emotional wonder and caught by the glitter of the glissade of feelings that shimmer through us.
Your images and language capture beautifully the quality of transient excitment that lifts us out of ourselves. I found myself reminded of my own travels and wonders. His response: that of a rouge or a fool more afraid of reality than she. Good piece.
Love, Tom B.
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