Stare into the face of war-
Tell me how you think you'll score.
Stare into the face of war-
Does it scare you? Tell me more.
Stare into the face of war-
Tell me what exactly who you adore
Stare into the face of war-
Will it all be washed ashore?
Stare into the face of war-
Tell me what you can't see anymore
Stare into the face of war-
Can you really tell me you are antiwar?
Stare into the face of war-
Tell me why you think it's a bore
Stare into the face of war
Have we been here once before?
Stare into the face of war-
Tell me why you silently abhor.
Stare into the face of war
Didn't we find this place before?
Stare into the face of war-
Tell me why you joined the corps.
Stare into the face of war.
Is it really such a chore?
Stare into the face of war-
Tell me why you want to explore
Stare into the face of war-
Do you really play hardcore?
Star into the face of war-
Tell me why you want to ignore.
Stare into the face of war-
Is it all forgotten lore?
Author notes
http://www.fotos.org/galeria/data/520/3Salvador-Dali-The-Face-Of-War.jpg
A contest entry
- Jackson Pollock and others like him by whispernthedark.
645 points, ended February 9, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My son, serving in Iraq, posted this on his MySpace sight. by joyya.
1750 points, ended February 20, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Thank you for your entry. I got the message you were saying, however, I feel it would have been stronger with out all the repetition. It was hard to read, halfway through I was bored. Also felt that the grammer and sentence structure were a little off.
With a little work this could be very good. -
This is a great poem. One that really hits home with me since I've a loved one who is over in Iraq as we speak. You have a beautiful way with your words.
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Dali has some wonderful art, really makes you think. I really like the take you have on this piece. Thank you so much for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Great painting choice- I love that picture. Although this has a great message and response, by the end I felt like it was a bit forced with the rhyme, it might have been better if you didn't use the same rhyme ending the whole way through.
Also, the "stare into the face of war" gets a bit repetitive too, overall this probably would be better if it was shorter, maybe take out some parts that don't make as much sense like "do you really play hardcore"
Nice effort put into this, I just think it could be improved.
-eveline. -
Good job poet!
I enjoyed this poem very much!
It gently reminds us but repeatedly not letting us escape
our responsibilities in allowing War to occur.
good job poet!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen/Seattle.
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