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Fallen From Grace

Missing image

Fallen From Grace

I was ripped from the womb of heaven's gate
Lost in a void with useless wings
There is no escape from the hand of fate

My useless apologies came too late
It's death when the keening bell rings
I was ripped from the womb of heaven's gate

Condemned and alone, no love on my plate
Damn my heart; the dark angel sings
There is no escape from the hand of fate

She wouldn't listen; why wouldn't she wait?
She died with me, that's what love brings
I was ripped from the womb of heaven's gate

The black smoke of chaos became irate
And she'll never know how it stings

There is no escape from the hand of fate

My dead twisted soul will never be straight
I made a mistake, lost sight of things
I was ripped from the womb of heaven's gate
There is no escape from the hand of fate

 

 

 

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1 - 33 of 33

  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 23, 2008

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    Brilliant poem that you've written.. the imagery is fantastic and very vivid. I absolutely love this one. I really loved the 5th stanza, that's the one that stood out to me.

    Congratulations on the Spotlight

    kat


  • chilali
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "The black smoke of chaos became irate
    And she'll never know how it stings
    There is no escape from the hand of fate"

    ^^ I loved that stanza. Great work! This entire poem is amazing. Amazing flow and imagery! Deserved to be in the Spotlight! Awesome work


  • Cup-a-Joe
    October 20, 2008
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    Glad to see this one on the front page. Very good write, just read the comments.lol
    Joe

  • Spindle
    October 19, 2008

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    Nice rhyme in this Villanelle. We can never escape the hand of fate, and too often we make our own. Ahhh. Thoughts that rise from this.

  • moonshadows
    October 19, 2008
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    nice imagery

  • Rudolf
    October 19, 2008

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    Amazingly worded,
    mighty strong pen.
    excellent content,
    revealing a poet...
    A P's top ten!

    rudolf


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the style you use in writing this piece.
    i love the flow and even the story being told.
    great job.

    loveandblessings2u & yours always
    joyce


  • PrincessOfFire
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was the best line of all> was ripped from the womb of heaven's gate I can actually see that. A good villanelle. Keep on penning. Rose


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 18, 2008
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    Only from you can a form like this be mastered.



  • ladyhelenaofsorrows
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing!!!!
    the emotion is great, and the repetition only adds to that. brilliant imagery, i love it!


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very sad
    feeling of hopelessness
    and a feeling that we all can relate to
    beautifully written
    God bless you...


  • Symphony
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Tragically beautiful; the rhyming scheme that you used was truly marvellous - and, might I say - so nostalgic but in a bittersweet manner.

    This was right to be featured; for it is an amazing, and profound write. Thank you for sharing it with us


  • second-born
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so dark...I felt its sadness and hopelessness...a very powerful villanelle about the powerlessness of a wretched soul...it is totally undeniable that you are the queen of form poetry!!!


  • And Hyetal
    February 10, 2008

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    Holy moo cow... You just wrote a SPECTACULAR poem about a fallen angel. "Fallen from grace..." This is just...PERFECT! This will make another great selection in my bookmark list... And on the AP homepage.

    Good luck in the contest, but you don't need it.

    ~Cassie


  • Pisces Pieces
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I was ripped from the womb of Heaven's gate" to me seems like such a powerful line, it's such a perfect introduction to the rest of this write. To have been so close and then made a mistake that was either realized too late or that there just wasn't quite the genuine remorse that there should have been...

    This really makes me stop and think of the cost of mistakes, possible consequences...so amazing and wonderfully done!

    ♥


  • HaleyMary
    February 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write, Sis. Great take on the pic. I liked the part of dying with a person the best. Very powerful emotion expressed in that and it made me think of how when someone who a person loves dies, the person left to grieve can be left with a feeling of emptiness inside. Good luck in the contest.


  • StarEyes
    February 8, 2008

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    I don't think there is anything that I can say that has not been said already! This is amazing! I love the feel and write of this one!! And that line,

    "I was ripped from the womb of heaven's gate"

    for some reason that one line, really grabbed me!! I still don't know how you do all these forms, but you are sooooo good at them, ALL OF THEM!!!

    Best of luck in this contest!!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Ithica silver member
    February 8, 2008

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    My fav. form and you have used it to the darkest perfection. The repetitive lines drive home the condemnation, and confusion. Brilliant piece! (as usual)


  • BellaD
    February 8, 2008

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    Love it!

    Wonderful response to the picture prompt. Excellent villanelle...I have tried to write one, but haven't been successful yet. Very impressive.


  • moonbumps silver member
    February 8, 2008

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    I like the way the lines are repeated alternately...interesting that and something new for me to see-great write that casts deadly spells as you read... xxx


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    February 8, 2008

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    Dark and filled with a deep sad emotion...being ripped from Heavens gate...wow...My little Blue Star you are amazing to me winner for sure!

  • Papagallo
    February 8, 2008

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    You simply amaze me.

    This was super fantastic. and you stayed with the style through out. I love the dark poetry and this was really dark. You always stay with your form and never waver. I cetainly would like, on occasion, to see some of your free verse.


  • Desire gold member
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wowzers!!

    You are soooooo good at form and this is on exception
    Love the flow and the message swells the eyes but needed to be said

    Magnificent!

    I think I have tried this form once...
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too my Friend
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    (Strange that I have not commented on this, because I am sure I have read it. Put it down to my tiredness.)

    Having said that, what else is there to say. This is another example of your gift of flawless formal construction.


  • Lexie - gold member
    February 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    this is captivating, sad and extremly well done,
    thankyou for such a beautiful entry


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    February 8, 2008

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    I really like this style Amera and it definetly hard a dark but captivating feel to it


    Cindy


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    February 8, 2008

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    oh my,! this is so sad, but all of us you want to meet there in Heaven,must make amends asap, sad, sad piece but rhymes beautifully in this form... good luck..
    Moons


  • cricketjeff gold member
    February 8, 2008

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    A thing of beauty in a form I find technically very challenging. Each stanza makes perfect sense and could have been arrived at without the restriction the form provide. That of course being the signature of a Villanelle well done.
    Really lovely poem, thanks for letting us read it.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 8, 2008

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    Fascinating diction and meter Lady Amera; yet another brilliant heart's labor from one of my favorite poets.


  • Faeryn
    February 8, 2008

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    Cool Form; I'll have to try it sometime. Maybe during math class when I have nothing better to do.

    "Condemned and alone, no love on my plate
    Damn my heart; the dark angel sings"

    Powerful lines. I love the entire poem. Brilliantly written.
    -Tay


  • PerVirtuous
    February 8, 2008

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    This is an excellent villanelle, and I love villanelles. This is powerful, dark, sad, and quite beautiful all at the same time. Great work.

  • Flamecaster
    February 8, 2008
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    I love this....sounds like a very "sad" poem...after reading it....good luck....


  • Li snuffles
    February 8, 2008

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    I love this Amera<3
    The structure of it is brilliant

    and the repitition works really well
    thank s for sharing..xo!"

1 - 33 of 33