So my soul has splintered into smithereens
Walking my death trail where no one will follow me
So self hatred has sabotaged my ability to breathe
But I am still right over here
Bleeding blood and amassing love
Steadily succumbing when push comes to shove
So I've walked around the round universe,
and still not known,
why we do this...
Deny, deny, deny,
and lie, lie, lie
Like we refuse to witness ourselves
Lost, cold and empty inside these shells outside light
Magnetize your will or be reduced to this plight
So I'm coming for you
Every monster thats given up on rescue
Every essence with a barren bedrock
So I'm coming for you death,
as no one else will do
You alone palm the key and the lock...
to divinity, to health
So I'm coming for you
Walking my death trail like a hawk
Author notes
Hello there, I made this background and I just realized that the line, You alone palm the key and the lock, comes out of the hand on the BG, total coincidence. cool
whats going on in your portals girls and boys?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I LOVE this. I relate immensely to this write. Great job.
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Wow! I love the background! Just wanted to say that real quick ^-^. Onto the poem! The last couple lines were just amazing (not to say I didn't love all the lines leading up to them, because I did!). I just loved the idea of the strength that came out in the last few lines, the narrator could be pushed down but kept coming and was strong enough to come after death. Like the title too!
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
A++wesome!
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The flow on this makes it so easy to read again and again. Or maybe that is just because so many lines grabbed my attention. especially the following....
and still not known,
why we do this...
Deny, deny, deny,
and lie, lie, lie
Like we refuse to witness ourselves
The very last line above is my favorite.
P.S. i love the background
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I love how undramatic this one is ! Just like a Hawk
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Oh. This is an interesting poem that you have going on in here.
I really liked the background that you did for this. It's really cool looking. Or I think so lestways. lol Your poem has some good lines going on but the one I really liked was "Bleeding blood and amassing love". I think it was the part about amassing love that I found kind of interesting. Probably because I'm not sure what exactly you mean by it so it gets me thinking.
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By the way wicked name... methinks your very likeable
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fascinating poem, and wicked background.... and I see that connection. I love many of your words used, though I'm unsure how I feel about the theme... Overall, kick@$$
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Wonderful.
And I do believe I know exactly what you mean.
I am inspired to my own pen by this work of yours.
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i love it.the first and second stanzas are great,but the whole thing is just really good writing its different,and the backround is cool.it fits
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Sorry to say I just can not get the thread or the allusions in this carefully crafted piece. My loss,I guess, just too old - the synapses aren't synapsing LOL
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funnily enough this exactly fits the music I am listening to, so Im likin it lots... the music cud be makin me biased but theres something about the fucked up flow which really works to stop what could seem cliche, more true and interesting.
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wow, just amazing!
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woooooow
*to amazed to say anything more*
hearts and hugs
Wolf Heart ^_^
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Again, that strong writing and determination.
It seems the hall marks of great poets are to demand the glossed over unanswered questions. Bring it to the attention of the dull masses. And your poinyent line..
..Like we refuse to witness ourselves...
Puts you far and above most of the pedestrian poetry I read here. Any one who reads your work takes a step closer to the essence of this site. I think much would be lost without your stimulating input.
Lets go space truckin,
come on.
LOWELL POE
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I love you too poe
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Wow. The imagery!!!
This is one of those mindgasms I often hear about, but haven't had the pleasure to read. This goes above and beyond all that...The emotion seems very angst ridden. An intricate piece of thought combing the waves of love, life, and ultimately - death; an ending. Seasons to cycles - very thought provoking.
Excellent piece!
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Great
I loved it, givening me asn image I can't quite explain.
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