My time is short and borrowed love,
I can not brush away your tears,
I simply had to say that I shall
miss those golden years.
Please know as this life's candle dies,
no brighter flame of love burns on.
My love for you has perished,
now forever I am gone.
Release me from these mortal chains,
bury my cold dead remains,
forget those senseless lost refrains,
and cry no more - for tears leave stains.
Let me be to you as you've become
within my mind and in my heart,
you're dead to me, let me be so,
twas you who chose for us to part.
Don't haunt me now from time to time
with little notes of merriment.
Just rest in peace and leave my world,
and offer no more harassment.
I died a death both proud and fair,
so leave me now without despair,
in killing me you did your share,
corrupting what I thought was there.
Good bye now love, I have to go,
the wild woods are calling me,
I simply wanted you to know,
in death I find that I am free.
Author notes
#10 "Poetry is the best for letting things out"
A contest entry
- Your air will be an enemy... by tragicallyGifted.
1600 points, ended February 11, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS AND THE BLESSED DARK ANGEL by Devilish Temptation.
600 points, ended March 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like this Michael.
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Ghosts from past relationships often take a while to disappear and I think your poem captures the feelings of frustration and pain that surround the occasions when ghosts come back to haunt. Mortal chains fade eventually though. Poetry is a very good means of expressing your feelings and I think you've done very well with this poem
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wOW very good words outstanding
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Firstly, I feel it would've been better if, in each stanza, Line 1 would rhyme with line 3, and keeping line 2 to rhyme with 4. It just seems a bit off the way you had it all written.
Secondly, in the fifth stanza, it gets confusing as you mention the other person being seemingly dead--"Don't haunt me now from time to time...Just rest in peace and leave my world". That threw me off a lot as I thought that the speaker was the one who was dead--"bury my cold dead remains".
Finally, it was'nt that bad of a poem at all. You did well.
Good luck in the contest.
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Oh....
sorry, forgot to leave an applaud, and it won't let me edit my comment to include it where I'm at....
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Amazing.
"Release me from these mortal chains,
bury my cold dead remains,
forget those senseless lost refrains,
and cry no more - for tears leave stains."
That part was truly incredible. The entire poem was very well written.
However, like the other one I commented, the number of syllables in the lines aren't consistent, and that throws the rythme off...But other than that, very good write. Good luck in the contest!
-Cody
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