He wrote beauty upon the pages of her heart,
in dress pants and shiny shoes,
promising her the world
wrapped in a band of gold,
~and she believed.
Forgetting about her Levis and cowboy boots,
falling into "Happily ever-after",
yet fairy tales die.
Tears flooded the South lands,
~as Alabama cried.
Author notes
There should hae been a wedding already, promise came on Valentine's Day...she had been guarded so long and safe...he promised her the world, than broke her heart a few days later...
This is a dedication to my sis...with so much love.
mysticstorm
~Gold~ http://allpoetry.com/contest/2389941
~Gold~ http://allpoetry.com/contest/2392581
In a list
A contest entry
- Invited only.... by Wolf Mistress.
1200 points, ended March 7, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A fresh start for my world of poetry by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
300 points, ended June 10, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - There are no small poems Only small poets! Part 2 by GypsyEyes.
300 points, ended June 3, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "She Must Be The Saddest Girl To Ever Hold A Martini." by SliptheFlitch.
300 points, ended August 28, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Glitter-Covered Masks Hide The Shame... by Silly Rabbit..
300 points, ended October 16, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 61 of 61
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HOODWINKED #131
Wranglers like this need to be streached like a fence wire. When the break do them again- After about ten times say "ou break when this happens should I quit or keep trying to see if - once you don't break? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? One more time Ok lol
The question is to you sir does pain- real pain " Hurt? ? ? ? "
...mac -
sad but real
we all go through relationships that don't work out, it is just sad when one person feels/is used. Your poem says this well with brevity and clarity. You have a nice way with words. -Jeff
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MOVING!
I'm very sorry for something so out-of-the-blue and unfortunate happen to your sister. But look a the bright side you wrote this heart-snatching poem for her that should easily pull her out of the pain of losing a lover. Yes this poem is that beautiful! AMAZING piece of art, connecting with other women or men who may have probably been through the same or similar situation. The only critique that I can give about this piece is that you could've went deeper and it could've had a little more lenghth. However, sometimes some of the best poems are the short ones.
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This is really beautiful with excellent imagery...love how you wrote..
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This is so beautiful..and so sad! I love the way you captured the loss and betrayal of love turned cold. Bravo
Mariana
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Beautiful & Heartbreaking
The imagery is breathtaking & perfect from the dizzy & dazzling heights to the most spirit crushing lows. You could not have told the story better.
Patricia
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I can so relate to this!
my sister went through the same thing. she's the sweetest person ever. in a tough shell that makes guys think they can treat her rough. and they do. and she hurts. but doesn't show. only I know
anyways she's given up on ever getting married and that makes me sad too.
That guy's such a jerk! how could he do that to your sister! glad you are there to help her through this as only a sister can.
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So amazingly deep. I am so sorry for your sister and let her know that there are people out there who have experienced the exact same thing as her. A great dedication poem.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x
'He wrote beauty upon the pages of her heart,' -
Well this is nothing but pure honest truth.
But in love there are lies.
Sometimes a faerie tale is the
only way to live and love.
it is the moments in life that seem unreal that
we remember forever
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G.R.E.A.T.
It reminds me of a couple stories i really like in a book.So good.think ur doing a great job keep it up.
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this is amazing very colorful and sad i liked the ending it tied the whole thing toghether
Thanks For Entering
~Mystal~
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Original!
Beautiful!
Congrats on the golds!
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original! i truly enjoyed it
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when the last part comes in,its like singing to you-- ciao
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An incredibly beautiful poem...and so sad!
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I can clearly see why so many can relate.
Why do people play with someone else heart,
like it's some kind of toy. What ever happened to respecting
others feeling. But than again some have no feelings of their own, so why should they care about others.
This is so well written and right to the point piece of fine poetry. It is full of emotions touches the heart. This was such a sad tale to tell.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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WOW!!!
This is a well written emotionally thought provoking piece. I loved the last line....Alabama cried...So emotional...Great write, love.
~mandie~
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How many of us have fallen
into the same big pot of soup. The lies another tells
we think is is Godspell, Till we find out someone is from rotten fruit Good write my friend, but oh so truthful...mac
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How many of us have fallen
into the same big pot of soup. The lies another tells
we think is is Godspell, Till we find out someone is from rotten fruit Good write my friend, but oh so truthful...mac
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This poem is a true explain of beautiful short poetry. It's proof that a poem doesn't have to be long, or wordy, or filled with huge images or twists to be concise and express so much in so little. The space between the lines is what says so much, maybe more than the words on the page actually do.
Beautiful words, beautiful images. You deserve every trophy this has won. And your sister deserves a better man!
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wow, this was amazing.
sad, but amazing nonetheless
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Wow. This had me from beginning to end,
very well deserved of all the trophies,
this was deep,emotional,yet short,and
it was just really beautiful. And it
wasn't what I thought it would be : cliche.
Good one.
...Simply Me♥
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Sad but tells a familiar tale. Great write
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*CLAP*
I really enjoyed this read, the flow was wonderful with perfect visuals. I just love this line "He wrote beauty upon the pages of her heart". I'm envious. -
Such a beautifully written poem, great write. =] You captured the emotional quite well. Thank you for your entry.
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The last line completely grabbed my attention and left me wanting more. Wow, GREAT write. I'm mesmorized. This I can relate to, in a way. I could feel the heart break when you wrote 'fairy tales die', it was as if you took my childhood dreams and tore them to shreds. But in a good way, because it brought out my sensitive side. Which is something most people don't see very often. Congradulations. You're a truly amazing poet. I hope to read more of your works. Keep it up. [;
Love, Doll face.
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Very good!
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a beautiful write which brought tears to my eyes as it amazes me how so many things i the world cna go wrong for the ones who are most gentle and kind. I am so sorry I love you god mummy
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yet fairy tales die.
they can't died!!!!!!
untill im here
well.. it was harsh poem but true...
by
The poet of hearts and beautiful words -
yet fairy tales die.
they can't died!!!!!!
untill im here
well.. it was harsh poem but true...
by
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
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wow this was very sad and i loved the imagery! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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That is so moving. Your love for your sister is so obvious, and your feelings of pain for the hurt she suffered. It was very special.
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A beautiful poem that brings forth so much pain, fairy tales rarely come true and its a strong pain indeed. A short piece yet full of emotion and beautifuly written.
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nicely penned and flows is superb along with the thoughts the brevity of the piece induces. Very good write thank you for entering my contest and good luck with the judging
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This was so painfully beautiful... The image that you created was so sweet in the begining but by then end all you can do is get a box of tissue.. I am sorry your sister had to go through this... I hope she finds the one that wont break a heart so soullessly and leave....Great write.. so full of heartbreaking emotion..
Jetleena
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excellent
we believe time after time, and despite the pain, isnt this a good thing? Your sis is lucky to have you.
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such a sad poem. the pain is veyr evident in this poem. mystic this is off the wall amazing, suchh poetic emotion penned into every word in this poem, it left me in awe.
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Short, yet very powerful
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Powerful, emotional, wonderfully written. I hope that she finds the ONE. They are out there somewhere. I had stopped believing myself until last year. Hopefully things will brighten up and you will be inspired to write about her happiness instead of her sadness. Well done.
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beautifully written
Such a sad and touching poem with just the right amount of beauty and sadness. I loved reading it.
I am happy that I was able to read a work such as this.
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*tear*
this is a touchng piece of work, it really reached out to me. i mean nothing like this has happened its just so sad and well lots of other stuff that i dont have a nome for. it about makes ya wanna cry
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ooh...sad..
Levi's and cowboy boots... Seems to me the more I hang around AP the more I hear and read it's the fancy pants who break the most hearts. I don't carry a man purse myself, I carry a splitt'in maul and wear work boots. Best wishes for your sis. ...And congrat's on the Golden win.
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Awww this is sad...to see your sisters pain after such a sad thing happens...
I am afraid there comes a time for all of us we don't believe in fairy tales anymore...but to be loved by someone is something we all want to stay....
I do hope she has found love again...
Loved your write,
Good luck in my contest
XXJeannette
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Aww, thats really sad, I'm really sad right now I've had alot of broken promisses!
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I Love It!
This is very nice I love it but it is soo Sad!!! I hope that things work out!
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falling into "Happily ever-after",
yet fairy tales die.
Tears flooded the South lands,
~as Alabama cried.
Oh it was terrible he did this to your sister.He deserves to be swallowed by a large tuna fish >:[ this was so sad,and i loved the way you felt the emotion that she must've.Great work!
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very nice
very nice but sad write on love . . promises are so easily broken . . liked "He wrote beauty upon the pages of her heart" and "promising her the world" . . good ending
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This was really sad but very well written. You can feel the emotion behind it and I loved this bit-
'promising her the world
wrapped in a band of gold,'
Great stuff
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I can feel the sense of heartache in this poem from the beginning. One minute you can feel like everything is right in the world and the next minute it can go all wrong.
I've been through heartache myself, and it was hard. I cried every night for about two months. Something I hope I never have to go through again.
I loved the title of this poem because it's two opposites yet at the same time, a scenario most people are familiar with. I like how the first line begins with a happy note of being in love but the poem ends with heartache. Good luck on the contest. -
I could relate to this and it made my heart shrink into my boots
I know...there is no such thing as truth in fairytales but we all like to think of them that way...
Probably it makes life a better place to be...
Beautiful write
XXJeannette
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wow i can relate to this i love the line promising her the world wrapped in a band of gold and she beleived is just fantastic and so true good luck and keep your pen flowing
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this is great stuff
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This is just fabulous. What an eventful and vivid story you have told in such a poetic ensemble. Your talent is truly rich and rare... x Best wishes to you in this contest. Love always - Lavender Butterfly... x
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so sad and beautifully worded.
i like the simplicity of this. it adds to the simplicity of the woman you're describing. i hope that made sense... it's a good thing
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Beautifully dark interpretation of the photo. Some promises are mere fairy tales as our broken hearts realize. I love the fresh take on love lost, very little cliche or worn ideas. Best wishes. Kudos!
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brilliant penning
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a gorgeous portrait of how fairytale love can lead you out of your comfort zone. And then you fall back to the natural of reality and cry for that mountain he built you.
Marvelous to say the least
Tamara
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i have just read through 9 other entries
9 amazing writes, and then i come to this,
i have no comment for how deeply this touched me,
it is sadly beautiful, and painted with grace and love
our Alabama angel will always be clad in Levi's and cowboy boots!! and the tears she brings to me are always ones of joy.
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WOW
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Not sure what the picture looked like that you wrote this from, but I know what picture you painted for us and that is good enough for me! Excellent job dear. Suzi
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Nice.
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