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Laugh

I remember how you used me,
For your precious little Game,
You lied, seduced, and beat me,
All of you Are the same.

You Reel me in,
And make me Feel Important,
Only to be shattered,
When my heart has been Broken.

You say you don't like to sleep alone,
And Crave your Lover's touch,
Say it's me, to get a lay,
But by morning, You don't like me as Much.

It hurts you Just as much,
I hear Repeatedly,
I think you really must love,
and the mistake goes to Three.

How Could I be so guilible,
To be influenced by you,
I taunt and tease at my own Reflection,
Because I Know I Knew.

You Weep and pout,
and tell the tales of heartbreak,
Sleep and relax, I'll be your confort,
But I swear you won't awake.

I'll tear open your stomache,
And let the organs Fall out,
Hang you with your Intestine,
And show what Pain's about.

Does it hurt that much,
To hurt me as you say,
You care that much,
That you have to walk away?

I lock your face,
In a cage full of rats,
They Gnaw and chew,
Deep in your flesh.

As you hang from the tree,
Dying on your own behalf,
All, I'm Afraid,
I can Do, Is LAUGH!!!

Author notes

Option 3 -Murder
option 2- anger towards a past lover
oh and my word is LOVE i guess

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow you have entered this in alot of contests and as well you should have its a very good write and i hopeyou do well in the next round


  • August Starlight silver member
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the trophies.
    Definitely a relateable write and I love how you ended it.
    Thanks for entering and good luck


  • Poetic Obscenity
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha! Add gorey and bitchy. Vengeful and lovely. I absolutley adored this. The ryhme scheme was great && whimsical. Which made the sadistic words fill with girly giggles.
    Which is really amazing. I find it to be a wonderful write.

    "Hang you with your Intestine,
    And show what Pain's about."

    - ROFL

    That's great. I'm sorry, absolutley wonderful!!

    Thank you and good luck.


  • SaviDropKick.Oi.
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    HOLY SHIT!!!!
    i absolutely love this!!!!
    amazing!!
    completely amazing!


  • LotusRyda
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very dark write i can feel the power and hatred that is in it
    thanks for the entry


  • rhyana
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    an interesting story. it did indeed capture my attention. a little gory but sometimes it's better to fantasize a bit rather than carry out some acts.

    i did have a few questions.
    erm...i'm not sure you meant hand you with your intestine. i assume you meant hang? although i suppose hand does carry some rather bloody mental pix as well, given the context. and i question the use of knaw in the rat stanza. was gnaw intended?

    you used caps creatively in this piece, it gave the feel of a creepy stalker note without the headache of sticky caps. thanks for entering, this was definitely memorable.


  • N e a r
    March 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Reminds me of a poem I read once. Though the girl was already dead, haha. This is pretty good, especially when you've read JtHM before. I like the whole revenge part. Nicely portrayed. I would look at the last two lines, though, because the beat is a little off. Thanks for entering.


  • aj.vamp
    March 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow


  • ExpectingMommy18
    March 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was morbid,but i liked it. i didnt expect to see this but it was a surprise. this was a wonderful write.
    thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.


  • Tangled Angle
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very passionate, I commend you on that. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • RoseTear
    February 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well this is pretty good. thanx for entering good luck...

    p.s nice flow of words. good peice


  • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well this surely is disturbing! LOVED!!! If it hadn't won a trophie, I'd consider it... but please don't remove it. It's a freakin wicked read


  • Charley-
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello there and thanks for entering your poem was very good and very well written best of luck to you and thanks again for entering..


  • InMyFlames
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very nice i love the images you weave, and you do it so well! thanks for entering and keep safe


  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    YAY!

    I LOVE THE METHOD OF DEATH!
    Well, the gutting/disembowling anyway
    This is fuckin amazing,
    very well written
    kudos and thanks for your entry


  • completely mad
    February 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the last lines were great....now all i can do is laugh....just what every lover wants to do to their spouse occationally hehe...thanks for your entry
    completely mad


  • Michael555
    February 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    knaw needs to be gnaw, otherwise it's perfect! I really like this poem! This is great!!!


  • xXnotXbrokenXx
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow. it blew my mind. this deserves a trophy. its really good, and really dark.


  • PerfectImperfection
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A slow pour of somewhat demented anger freed. Thoughtful sense of revenge deployed within the lines... I feel it could have had a greater depth - or possibly a more raw release of the emotion. Thank you for you entry!


  • xXsoulxcollectorXx
    February 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    kinda disgusting but very good!!!great write!!!thanks for entering the contest!!!


  • SoxxDisastrous
    February 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. A pretty amazing poem.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    February 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Fab piece, good luck


  • Flightless Raven
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very disturbing..

    This was exactly what i was looking for in terms of that sick urge to cause pain and anguish to those who´ve nicked your heart fatally...good job.


    • Mow
      February 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you I try towrite down my urges rather than act upon them,...it'd be kinda illegal


  • J.Carnage
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING! as usual!

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