Awake & dreaming of a nightmare from long ago
I'm looking for a chance to finally let it go
But the shadow gets bigger and the light is almost gone
The air is getting thicker, I'm trying to hold on
Holding on to what's real
Holding on to myself
I don't know what's left of me anymore
Fear is in the air stinging with every breath I take
Ripping my heart, tearing it away
I'm trying...
Holding on to what's real
Holding on to myself
Crawling on the floor in pain, remembering the will to forget
Thinking of my one regret, no one knows how it feels
Is this real or just a nightmare?
Author notes
Have you ever had a flashback and anxiety over something terrifying or dramtising that has happened in your life? I have and this was written during one of these episodes. It felt as thought my memories and fear consumed me.....
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A contest entry
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1600 points, ended March 30, 2008, 66 entries
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Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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='[ I understand this so well... I recently started getting flashbacks again and they're getting worse. Now I have at least 5 a day and I get them in my sleep too. I know how awful and scary they are. Know the feeling of not knowing whether it's real or just in your head. Not fun!
It's a brilliant write, captures the feelings very well.
I love the line 'remembering the will to forget'. Ironic, clever.
Great write
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nice write. Nightmares can seem very real at times, love this write very much
nice work
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Thank you so much for the comments. It's not a song but I do also write lyrics and stories. My lyrics strangely aren't usually so dark....interesting that my poerty is.
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very good
could be a great song..the flow is almost lyrical...don't know if that is your intent..love it..there is only so much sunshine and roses you can write about..good, honest, gut-wrenching pain..now that is worth writing about..thanx so much for sharing..
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EXCELLENT!!
I love this poem. The emotion is strong, and can be applied to so many things--very easy to relate to. Also, I loved the imagery of shadows, nightmares, and regret. Sometimes a memory can be a bit of a nightmare, and this expresses that so well. I think my favorite stanzais the one that says "I don't know what's left of me anymore...I'm trying..." I can't tell you how many times I've felt that way--especially my first month of college... It gets better though, I promise. Great repetition, flow, all of it-- Congrats on an excellent write. Keep it up!--Shannon
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Is there a reason for the rhyming in the first stanza and then no rhyme after?
The other thing that is a bit off-setting is the movement from the first line:
Awake & dreaming of a nightmare from long ago
to the last line:
Is this real or just a nightmare?
It appears you know you are awake and draming of a nightmare, then you don't know if it's a nightmare or not. I don't find you make that journey between. The body of you poem is too aware of what is happening.
Just my opinion.
Jim
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Jim
When a person is having a painc attack or paranoia of any kind, you try to get past it without drowning in it. That is why the question was asked at the end. It's an on going struggle. Even after it's dulled, it's not completely gone.
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YAY!!!! First poem.... lol
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Wow, this is really good for a first poem! Better than my first was xDD;
I really like the rhythm and timing of the first stanza, it sort of gave the poem an air of desperation. I really liked it.
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when the heart seeks to find solice for its sorrowed view of life poems like this are bound to arise to the surface. Exploring the pain will always bring you a great bounty. May you find the peace your heart so richly deserves. blessings and best wishes, astralshepherd
~r.
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wow
wow you did a really great job, i loved the read. Keep writting and i would enjoy some feedback on some of my poems so please comment on my page.
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wow
i really do like this one keep it up you got potential <3 bloodlustgirl
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Welcome to AP and congratulations on posting this, your first poem. Remember how great it felt to do that, and let others know I was a poet. Sentiments well expressed in these lines, liked the flow and the repetition of those two lines that mean so much. It's hard to hang on sometimes, and to know what is real and what isn't. Hope writing helps you to move on and let go of what needs to be gone, so you can go ahead and find out what is important. Keep writing...
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Thank you so much for the welcome,that comment and the encouragement, I greatly appreciate it.
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