I'm totally thrown onto the floor,
with ragged stains of nothing remembered.
I'm so blankless in what everyone wants,
for I don't understand what is mine alone.
I rip myself to shreads with no skin attached,
as my fingers withdraw and nothing is held back.
Stream the lines down my fingers,
for the the shivers never leave my back anymore.
I'm always so cold and rustied inside and out,
nothing more touches the reality of what I really am.
For nothing really hits me down in my lowely chest,
because i'm nothing more than this tool to shape.
My nails stab my nasty body with no remorse,
for I'm not right for anyone to hold any longer.
I should be burned for trying to be a human at all,
so nobody can see the mistakes a person can have.
I'm breaking out the broken skin with bloody cries,
but nobody comes running for what I am.
They want the other person they want to see somehow,
so all I can do is fake my real happiness with nothing to gain.
I'm not perfect enough for her.
Author notes
This is for you mom...
Ya, mom, I did do this to myself. My arms are bruising and it is all your fault. I can't stop ripping myself apart and i just want to fall apart. I hope I don't live anymore cause of you, cause i'm not perfect enough for you...god...
A contest entry
- I want to hate you so badly (but i love you) by Nyabbi.
700 points, ended February 14, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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damn. sounds painful
but the question is- Is it that you want to hate her but can't because you love her?
I rip myself to shreds with no skin attached,
as my fingers withdraw and nothing is held back.
Stream the lines down my fingers,
for the the shivers never leave my back anymore.
i love that line
sometimes i feel like shivers never leave my spine
like i am always freaked out
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wow...so so sad and so much pain here. you've written something gripping and painful to read.
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