Random

Where is Random?
I frown over the pages
but the AA map doesn’t like me today.

1996 edition.
Three years out of date.
So is that why?
Is Random a new town or something,
gone without a mention in this older, well-thumbed version?

My index finger travels down the R’s.
They take up the whole page so it must be here somewhere right?
Ranton, Ramsbottom, Ratby – they’re all there.
Random has to be here. Somewhere.

I attack Dad for answers.
His reply is classic:
“Sure you don’t mean London?”

I hear them chat on about this strange place on
Saturday morning TV,
always before “Wonky Donkey” game and just as they’re announcing some
new competition, where you win your dog’s weight in Smarties or something.
“All entries will be judged at Random”.

But where is Random?
I skim over the R’s again – perhaps I misspelled it.