Hate
It caresses our world
With spiteful fingers
And ironic situations;
Where haters
Become the hated,
And where the feeble light
Of that apparent tiny glow worm
Of love and hope, that dwells within
Our cursed bodies,
Is extinguished by the foul air
Contained within our ignorant minds.
And it taints our souls
With the acid taste
Of bittersweet lemons,
Grown from the soil
Of this damned earth,
Where slaves died for freedom;
And where we died for our right
To keep what was never ours to take;
And where that young boy
Who died for his religion
Is buried,
Under that delicate mound of
Composted bones and blood.
Author notes
This poem is more speaking out against hate in general, not specifically war, so if its not focused enough on war, I can remove it from the contest.
About hate and war. Gained some inspiration from the poem 'Vultures' by Chinua Achebe, as after reading it I decided that there couldn't be this glow worm of love inside some of us.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Day - POD by Arkbear.
500 points, ended February 8, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Roses around, Flowers in bloom, Help me get my poetic muse back by LadyOfFate.
600 points, ended February 28, 2008, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THOSE AGAINST WAR!!! by Sky Prince Ireland.
300 points, ended May 28, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything-prewrites allowed-2nd contest by Midgetbridgey.
350 points, ended July 11, 2008, 245 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - love or hate by sin.
300 points, ended June 2, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything, Basically by wonderbandalice.
525 points, ended June 2, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take My Breath Away(Anything you Want) by fairytalelovestory.
675 points, ended October 19, 2008, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
You surely radiate a strong and powerful message within the lines of this poem - and I like that.
Thank you for entering the contest!
Leander -
Ty for entering Good Luck.
-
Beautiful. It's very powerful, great word choice, amazing. Awesome write.
-
wow
that was great i loved it so much
well spoken and well written
thank you for sharing this poem
keep up the great work
and good luck in this contest
or in all your contest
Kitty23 -
-
Thank you very much
-
-
Well spoken. Thanks for entering.
Good luck.
Brian -
-
Thank you very much
-
-
Good phrasing, good message, good structure, good images, good poem- Good, but not outstanding. I like this poem a lot, I think it has a ton of potential, but it may need some tweaking to really have any kind of a wow-factor.
I see that you won a few trophies for this, and I admit I can see why, but I think this could be much stronger, a better title and a stronger ending would probably help.
I am asking that everyone in the contest send me a message or respond to my comment telling my why they chose the particular poem they entered, for my contest. Only contestants that do this will be eligible for winning when it comes time for judging.
Thanks for entering,
Shirley
(A more critical review may follow during judging, but no applauses will be given to any entry, even the ones that deserve them.) -
Hate is such a bad thing, I don't even think I could write about it, so kudos to you for being able to do so, amazing, I could never write something like this
-
-
thank you
-
-
very nicely written. glamorizing hate. interesting. good luck with the other contests. thanks for entering mine. and good luck.
-
-
glamorizing? how so?
-
-
I really like this poem, my favorite two lines that really stuck out to me were...
Where haters
Become the hated
It was really catchey. Thank you for the entry in my contest and good luck.
~Maria -
really moving, particularly the last stanza
With the acid taste
Of bittersweet lemons,
Grown from the soil
Of this damned earth,
Under that delicate mound of
Composted bones and blood.
really great
-
hey congrats on the silver..when i originally read this yesterday, i knew you were going to win something, albeit, i thought gold...but your stark imagery of such a myriadic topic is extremely well mouthed, and i look forward to reading more of your talents.
-
-
thank you so much! i appreciate the compliments i really didnt expect to win anything when i read the other entries!
-
-
I like this, the imagery is powerful and intense. The theme is quite common but I feel you have made it your own, done it in a new light. Which is excellent I would like to add our deepest apologies for the problems we have had this time also being 10 hours ahead of the other judges makes it more poem of the night for me so I have been unable to score this round. Congrats on a well earned silver and hope to see you next time
-
-
thank you very much i was really trying to take quite a cliche theme and turn it into something more original, so your compliments are really appreciated!
-
-
Score: 97.4
Thanks so much for joining us in the POD, and I hope you'll join us again when AP is cooperating better, and we can leave a proper critique.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J.
-
Score...>>>...99.15
Hello ~
We are having so many troubles with AP.....Judging has been postponed :(
Every time we try to post our reviews and critiques, AP is wiping them clean and we can't keep writing our comments over....hoping, AP will not eat it again.......therefore.....
....all comments and scores will have to wait.....we are so sorry.....and yes, we have notified the MODS ~
Bear ~
-
Well penned!
This is a popular theme, of late, I hope it's an indication that we are becoming more aware of our actions and the reactions they cause. Best wishes in the contest! "where we died for our right
To keep what was never ours to take;" so right on!
Write on!
*PEACE*
-
-
Thank you very much I really hope so too. I'm crossng my fingers for a change for the better. There's so much hate in the world that I can hardly see how it can get much worse!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
