18 years seems so long
Makes it even longer when you never listen
Every time words come out
You turn your back and they bounce away
Thought you'd be required to care
But I guess 'Dad' is just another word to you
It's okay
Cuz this is all so overrated
Overrated
And I'm praying every day
To make it through the cold nights
It's okay
Man this life is so complicated,
Love is so,
Overrated...
Author notes
Inspired by "Complicated" by Good Charlotte
A contest entry
- GOOD CHARLOTTE INSPIRED by Mad As Rabbits.
550 points, ended February 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
just a lil something something
Comments
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"I'm young and I'm hopeless, I'm lost and I know this"....lol I know wrong song but it's still GC baby. It reminds me of the song Overrated by Three Days Grace......."your shit is overrated" good song. nice write.
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This seems like a nice first draft, but not a final poem. No offense or anything. It just needs more detail and emotion. This is like a nice way to get your thoughts down. Then leave it. Come back to it when you want and start penciling some metaphors, adding more feeling. It works, trust me. It has really helped me with my work. Do keep trying though, don't give up. I can almost here your words fighting to work but they are just a little plain right now. Keep at it, you will get there.
Thanks for entering.
Love Always,
Caroline
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i don't take offense to it because i know that i rushed myself into writing this rather than sitting down and thinking about it for a while, i just wrote it while i was listening and singing along to the song... i'm going to work on it, not right now and probably not before the contest is over, but i'll work on it and when i re-do it, i'll message you and see what you think of it then. lol kk?
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