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Imagine

Imagine
Imagine me
Imagine my dream
Imagine me in you
Imagine me in your life

Dream
Dream me
Dream my touch
Dream my touch, imagine
Dream my touching your life

Love
Love me
Love my dream
Love me, touch me
Love my ways, imagine life

Be
Be mine
Be mine, love
Be mine, imagined love
Be my love, dream life


A contest entry

Criticize freely, I need input to improve

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • The Inc
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm, honestly, I think the
    constant repetition in each stanza
    is rather irritating because of the
    simple wording presented here. Now,
    that's not to say that it should be
    complicated because it shouldn't.
    In fact, the simplicity of your message
    is rather appealing. It's just that I can
    already see "imagine" "dream" "love" and "be".
    Therefore I don't want to feel as if I have
    a memory problem in reading this.

    Overall, I'd say if you just removed those
    repetitious words and substituted them for
    more depth such as--adjectives then it would
    come together a lot eloquently.

    Good job for the effort.
    Keep penning!

    ~The INC."