Inspire the inner-self
Sweet Mother Goddess
Your thoughts I would love to know.
As I look in your sweet face when I look into the sky,
I can see the peace that you could give to the world.
If only we would let you.
You who give unto us hope, and joy and peace, in our time of need.
I give thank to you. And pray that you will always be there for us.
And will inspire us to always do good to each other.
For we really need this at this time when it seem as if the whole world is a war.
Help us to understand that we have the power to change these thing just by.
Being tolerant of others and there ways,
In stead of trying to always change them to suit our selves.
All we have to do is to look and see all the wonderful thing that we have.
Instead of looking at what we don’t have.
I pray that you we help us all to get peace again soon.
And once again people will be to help each, and love each other all of man kind should.
© Rose Patrick Feb 7, 2008
All Rights Reserved
In a list
A contest entry
- Pif and Inspire :- Many Options by Reptile Lady.
825 points, ended February 9, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Some options!!!! please check it out!!! by takemypainaway.
360 points, ended February 22, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The message of your poem is beautiful. The words you have chosen fit the piece well. However, you have always asked me to be honest. I would hope you would do the same for me.
With that in mind, I would like to add that the punctuation is incorrect in a few sentences. You also have a few unnecessary words. An example would be : "For we really need...," the "for" in this sentence is not needed. I have always told you whenever you want to put that word, don't.
The other problems I see are the tenses of some of your verbs, plurals, and word confusion. By that, I mean using "there," instead of "their." The word "seem" needs an "s" on it. In the last line it should be "each other," and not just "each."
Grammar is so tough mommy. You have such good ideas and I can see what you want to convey. It's just hard for you to get on paper or screen exactly what was in your head. Join the crowd!!
Overall, I love the meaning of this poem and I would love to read it again with a few revisions.
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this poem was a beauty to my eyes, love it! Great write
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can you please put your option in your Notes??
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good piece you've written here!
trouble is you need to have someone check your spelling and word usage...
other than that, great sentiment(sp)
mike -
Amazing words penned so deeply
Of the hope, peace, and what we all pray for
Thank you for this wonderful entry
Julie -
Excellent
As though a prayer yes we should all share and in doing so find the peace and the care for the land as well
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