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Not Time Yet

So, this is the white light I've heard my mommy talk about
I don't really understand what I'm supposed to do,
My ears can hear mommy crying out my name
But, also I hear GOD'S deep, deep voice is calling too.
He's telling me how he loves the little children
And how they are weak, but he is so strong,
Go back my precious one, to your grieving mother
She needs you, so the time is all wrong.
I place one Spongebob house shoe, back on the stony step
Instantly, I feel my mommy carressing my small, tepid hand.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • TabbyJoy
    April 20
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    this evoked some interesting images for me. Thank you.


  • Gagiikwe
    February 5

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    I wish I could find the picture prompt to go with this strong poetic image.
    Favorite line: "I place one Spongebob house shoe, back on the stony step" A very real and childlike image.


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    intensely memorable . your visions of mother. excellent..


  • Lotus-Mama
    June 5, 2008

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    Oh my goodness....This deserved gold. I have goosebumps on my goosebumps. That's always a good sign. So beautiful! Being a mom of 2 little ones this shook me up! Nice work!


  • Nephlim
    March 26, 2008

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    Aww I'm glad she didn't die a very nice message you portrayed with this poem, I thought it was beautiful even if I'm not religious
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly


  • secberm
    February 21, 2008

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    Nice poem sister. Had to read it twice to get the gist but lovely sentiement/off rhyme flow/and content. Write on. One.

    Dez


  • whbybel
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    This is a nice poem and mentions a favorite cartoon on mine. Sponge Bob. Maybe I should write a poem about him now. anyways you might want to read some more of my poems. I would love for you to give me some advice. you seems to be very talented and I would love your support.

  • imahealer
    February 17, 2008

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    OMG! This is truly beautiful, and what talent you have. I started writing when I was 5. It is a sure fire way to express yourself in deeper thoughts than in writing an esoteric book. One suggestion. When, even in poetry, when it is in dialogue, you should use ". I can see why this won bronze.I have to share something with you. Six years ago, I was having my colon re-sected, and my appendix ruptured. My immune system was so compromised that I was pronounced dead, but they kept me on life support, trying to get my heart to start beating again. I guess it just wasn't my time, cause here I am! But I saw no white light or long tunnel.So now I am on a spiritual journey.
    I'm sure happy you entered my contest. I found another writer I really like!
    Shana


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    February 12, 2008

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    this is so beautiful poet! you have to have the heart of a child to write about one like this. VERY PRECIOUS!!!

    this is a winner in my eyes!!!

    GBY
    SilverButterfly
    (Mary)


  • HeavenScent4U
    February 10, 2008

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    Love it, a very interesting take on the picture. A lot of emotion in this and something I could see this child thinking, well done thanks for entering and good luck. be well and be blessed

  • wb hickock
    February 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well done.

    well done, well wrote. Nice images,Good job and keep writeing.

1 - 11 of 11