Here I am away from others,
I find myself being still.
I hear a noise and look around,
But notice its just a deer.
I crouch back down and look around,
And slowly I begin to suck my thumb.
Author notes
Picture Prompt: http://allpoetry.com/images/ext/Contest/2389/868.jpg?1202393687
Okay I admit it, I have a weird sense of humor. =\
A contest entry
- Image Inspired J by HeavenScent4U.
300 points, ended February 14, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please be up front and honest and tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Well I like this except for the two middle lines which are too factual for me. I feel you could have made more of the last line, talked about the tangible loneliness and insecurity a young girl must feel so alone. I don't think you have pushed this write to its full potential. Keep going! Amber x x x
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Well the write was meant to be more humor then anything else, I wasn't looking to explain her life story. I thought it might be funny, and it is (if only to me).
Mind you I have my own humor.
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I love the beginning of this, the first 4 lines as a matter of fact because they were in tune with the image but the LAST line just blew it for me
Thanks for entering and good luck. be well and be blessed
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I had a feeling that would happen.
I first saw that she had her hands in a way that 'appeared' as if she might suck her thumb. I then saw the girl with a cigarette, but figured that was too obvious.
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This is a really strange poem. That is all I can really say about it.
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Thanks. ^^
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