it's impish, impudent,
plays hiding under ribcage
seeking a way out
of different level love,
it's Biko's cry freedom,
more tragic than Shakespearian tragedy,
the soundtrack to the souls
screaming release
on Schindler's list,
it holds hostages
as prisoners
of logic lost,
tasteless, odourless,
invisible,
with the stealth
of a silent intruder,
it lies beautifully
but it's honesty
is ugly, ugly,
imposters serve lust
best-dressed
using three words
as an alibi,
it's the sunday sermon
leading to monday mourning,
recalling asking God
why, why this,
why is love misused
to bruise the fruit of flesh,
as the priests false teeth
click clack like casatanets
he has no answers
and they all cling
to misplaced faith
A contest entry
- Love - Lessons Learned by Metaphorist.
600 points, ended June 1, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
constructive comments welcome
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow! This is much different than the other pieces that have been entered. I mean that in the best way possible. It's provocative and powerful. Thanks for entering.
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Worth the Wait...
"as the priests false teeth
click clack like casatanets
he has no answers
and they all cling
to misplaced faith"
YES! YES! YES! what a mind picture you have painted with this phrase!
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ah love you know my saying on it, it twists us and turns us on its palm and all we can do is scream. love is misused yes but not always, there are tender moments too that make life so beautiful, as a race we prefer the dark side of things, yet are forever saying we want the light
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good metaphors/allusions U use it usually boils down 'TO MISPLACED FAITH' but faith in what? ah therein is the conundrum false teeth very interesting in a priest the way U use this line good title vg opening stanza thanks for sharing thoughts/philosp with us regards zaj
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I agree with where you are coming from with this. I have several pieces concerning the misplaced ideals of their faith. I like the way you show that this insipid evil is propagated by so few against so many because the sheep refuse to look up.
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I'm not familiar with Biko's "cry freedom" However this is a poem that causes me to think and I agree with as the priests false teeth
click clack like casatanets
he has no answers
and they all cling
to misplaced faith
In my opinion you write poems with deep meaning. Although I like the poem, I have to admit I don't understand some of it. -
The pictures of what was done to Biko
still reverberate inside me.
Your words resonate / cannot placate
the understanding you bring to us.
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From a physical point of view we're all electromagnetic fields with a frequency and amplitude. The amount of actual matter shaping us is so insignificantly small that it can be neglected. Each feeling and thought is measurable, as are all of our acts. But our essence is not of matter. The quality of a match is determined by it. In today's world fields are overrated and essence scarcely understood. As a result fields attempt to determine what they know little of and essence suffers the consequence of ignorant choices. I wish you the very best in the contest, but more so in life that you adorned with this spectacularly perceptive poem. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,
Chris
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You sound like you have been hurt in the past and I am sure others can relate.
This is fantstic
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Creed doesn't define God, it defines the believer.
Love is not an imposter but as you post so well many an imposter lied with words as they wove the spell of their desires in the fires of someone elses dreams. Their screams will be heard in hell for misusing God's greatest gift.
Love, Tom B.
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This is a truthful and painfully honest look at the reality often underpinning romantic love--an intelligent, angry and perceptive poem. It's refreshing to come across serious poetry on this site and for that I'm grateful.
Bill
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me again
I like it so much, that I had to go back and reread it again!
poetdontknowit -
Grand
An awesome write you have penned here. I like the casatanets part. Never heard the term before. So I have put it in my vault for later use! Hope you don't mind. Awesomely done, my fellow poet!!!!!!
keep on penning
POETDONTKNOWIT -
it's the sunday sermon
leading to monday mourning,
recalling asking God
why, why this,
why is love misused
to bruise the fruit of flesh,
as the priests false teeth
click clack like casatanets
he has no answers
and they all cling
to misplaced faith
This is soooooooo amazing, we are so alike in our thoughts..You'll see when you read that piece I sent you..
The comment I need to leave is in that write.
Misplaced, or blind? Faith, that is.
I love this. More truth, told so eloquently, chillingly, raw, and sorrowful. I wish you the best, my friend, in your contest..
Jin
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Why oh why have I not had you on my faves before, I am completly stunned at this write .. to me it is perfectly written, such a way to look at love without really using the word.
Outstanding
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you bought tears to my eyes with this -amazing write,so many wonderful lines, too many to highlight although the last stanza was a definite killer. A truly moving write my friend, one of your best so far.
. Rewarded 4
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This is wonderful work, really a masterful interpretation on love, I really enjoyed reading this and I recommend it to others for a truly wonderful read
. Rewarded 4
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