White roses.
You always knew how to please.
Caramel-filled chocolates.
My favorite.
A fluffy teddy bear.
You shouldnt have.
Sparkling jewels.
Your pretty little lies.
I whisper sweet nothings
Into locked ears.
I stroke your face,
You pretend to care.
I tell you I'm yours,
You make me promise.
Upon my oath,
I'm forced into submission.
I try to scream,
Your hand muffles my plea.
I start to sob,
You abandon your pretenses.
Now I really see you.
Now I'm really scared.
You cheated.
Took a prize you didn't deserve.
You broke all the rules,
You broke me.
You left me there.
You just left.
The silky white roses
Weep as I paint them red.
Sweet chocolates
Become poison in my throat.
My gentle bear
Forsakes my side.
I'm cold.
The little silver chain
Glints maliciously round my neck.
It grows tighter.
I can't breathe.
I'm all alone,
Left there to choke
On your pretty little lies.
Author notes
Experimenting with a new, more realistic and 1st person kind of writing. Tell me what you think...what works and what doesnt?
A contest entry
- HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BABY.....I'M LEAVING YOU. by Beautiful-N-Broken.
370 points, ended February 9, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Roses around, Flowers in bloom, Help me get my poetic muse back by LadyOfFate.
600 points, ended February 28, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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very interesting. love gone array. nicely written and well thought out. like I said I am not much of a love fan even if it is breaking of a heart. but it is nice. please put in what you forgot in your notes or anywhere on this page to qualify. thank you
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good
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sorry
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yay i have points ! here
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I really like the format you used. Your choice of words is great. I like the first person style. A successful experiment i say. I really loved this poem. And if i had any points I'd give you two clapping guys. Congratulations!
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