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Sighing

I'm sucked in
      wanting more


then
                           

                    blown out



With the deepest
of 
sighs

The entirety
      of the wonder
                       
                   

                    disappears


With the deepest
of
sighs

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • just-an-amateur
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Massman about your form. It's impeccable. The repitition also helped exaggerate your title in your poem.
    "The entirety
    of the wonder"
    Those lines really hit me deeply. We all think of wonder as a blip on the screen of life, but to think of it in its entirety, that's something completely new. Wonderful job. Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest!
    ~M~


  • MassMan
    February 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an interesting write with the thoughts presented and the form used.

    This ought to catch some attention.
    David