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Lady Poison

Lights of hell
shining through perfect moss eyes

Watching with such a magnitude
that venom spewed out of her cherry tipped fingers

As she spoke with such fury
making the world shake below her spike heels

Revealing her true nature
green with malevolent sin

As pure as the acid rain running through the veins
of her fiery tormented soldiers damned for all of time

Author notes

10 lines
Prompt: Pure Poison by insomnia40977
Contest-"painful surrender"

A contest entry

Please tell me how i did...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • BeachBum1
    May 8

    Edit | Reply

    ooh goose bump time

    every line was a sweet suprise twisting in interesting directs. dynamic and deep. thank-you good luck

  • thenorthernstar
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    kool your a finalist I love this


  • The Imperfection
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    haha i know i've already commented...but i HAD to read it again!!! (not like i've read it 21478 times, wut u smokin'??) i just LOOOOOVE this poem!!! it's going in my amazing poem collection!!!

    Light and Love,
    Kara


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    March 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    dark and poisonous I like it a lot


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very good peom here,
    dark and myseterious,
    very well written,
    good luck in the contest,
    love vamp xxx


  • Exodus gold member
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting poem. You really got the feel to carry well throughout the whole thing

    Thank you


  • leander Moderators member
    February 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well this is a very beautiful poem that you have written Great imagery you have managed to capture within these lines

    Thanks for this entry!
    Leander


  • pandapattinson9
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awesome. I love the imagery nd expecially how it alludes to vampires


  • Dmonik
    February 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly, Congratulations on the Gold!
    Secondly...Damn! I'm glad I don't know this woman! Though, she kinda sounds like my kind of woman, lol. This is powerful and 'dangerous' even though it's a short piece...I think that's what adds menace to it. Well done!


    • ShadowsMidnightRose
      February 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you!
      It was a hard prompt, but i'm glad you enjoyed it! Sadly I could be like that!


  • The Imperfection
    February 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *shivers* you've just created my nightmare for the night.

    i wish i could write like this...if anyone on this site has talent, i'm commenting it right now.

    write more!!


  • Abby In Chains. silver member
    February 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the imagery! wow blown away.

    HOW am I supposed to judge this contest? HOW??

1 - 17 of 17