A whole sadness feels me and my surroundings.
Are we stuck in time? Am I beginning to move into the future, the unknown.
My body feels drained. Like a little boy not wanting to play anymore.
I just want to be lying under the star-lit sky, imagining what the stars are thinking. Do they enter into the future without fear?
The connection of my soul with this universe is overwhelming.
We can always do what we want and are being guided all of the time by this great power of the universe.
This is my first poem I tried to write.....Would do you all think?
Comments
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Very interesting
For a first time ever I have to say this is good. Your stanzas are a little clunky in the middle though. I like this poem alot, for a first try I have to say this amazing. I can relate to how this feels, and how you may be unsure what the future holds. This is nice Good Job -
This is your first?! Wow, I'm impressed!
This is written very well for you first poem ever. Mine was so horrible... It's amazing that I kept writing anyways =]
I really feel as if you've got some potential in you. Your words seem very well written and your descriptions are very good.
I suggest you keep writing
~Great write
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