I'm a girl, my mother discovered today,
news that was met with unmatched elation.
Her hands on her belly, my face on her mind,
she's filled to the brim with anticipation.
Today, Mom and I are running some errands.
Every so often, she whispers to me.
She calls me her angel as we climb in the car...
but someone lurks in the shadows that she doesn't see.
Out from the alley emerges our killer,
his targets unable to flee...
He strikes down my mother and leaves her for dead,
never knowing he's murdering me.
My story is different, my mother regrets me.
She made a mistake, I was not in her plans.
Hands tightly clenched, mind resolute,
She'll regain her freedom any way that she can.
My mom's reached the clinic, now doubting her choice,
she stifles her conscience and enters the room.
The nurse, smiling kindly, touches her shoulder.
"Watch this T.V., the doctor will be with you soon."
Breaking news enters into that cold waiting room
the hand of a far greater power.
A shocking report of two senseless killings,
the only panacea in this desperate hour.
Don't sorrow, my friend, and don't weep for me.
My death served a purpose, I was part of a plan.
That day at the clinic, a young mother repented
of ending a life even before it began.
Author notes
TabbyJoy
I would like to write to changing the world...to recognizing the loss of an innocent life, no matter how it is taken.
A contest entry
- Do You Want It? Do You Need It? Let Me Hear It.... Ladies and Gentlemen...!!! by JinSays.
725 points, ended March 7, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
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Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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This is a very good poem. You're write people shouldn't do that! It's bad and wrong! Thanks for your entry and good luck. Keep writing, make them listen!!
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Very well written; it was rather ingenious to take two completely different stories, from opposite sides of the tracks, and lay them side by side ; shows the power in decision making, and yet, how tragically decisions that affect us hugely can be made for us, and leave us no say in the matter.
No direct criticism I can think of for this. Another aspect I enjoyed is that people who are pro-abortion for their own reasons, can still read this, and not feel 'shut out' or looked down upon. Indeed, you're teaching, informing, but not preaching - which is all important on delicate topisc like religion, sexuality, abortion, etc.
Well done, and thank you for entering
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wow this was very good. You did an absolutely wonderful job writing it. just wow. I love how you gave it personality. Keep it up! best of luck, congrats on your wins.
CrimsonViper -
i love it!
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this is really good but very sad i do hope this is not a true based story I LOVE U TABBY
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This really made me feel something that some of the writes haven't in my contest. It truly almost made me cry. It really is sad that some people don't think that it's the same as murder, but it is. My favorite part is:
"Hands tightly clenched, mind resolute,
She'll regain her freedom any way that she can."
This is a truly beautiful write on such a tragic subject.
Thankyouu and good luck in my contest.
-Dana.
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you hit so many things inside of me with this write
i felt pain, joy, nothing it was crazy
this was amazing and i am so happy i had the time to read it, thanks so much for entering i wish you the best. -
wonderful. i am adding this to the finalists list.
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really deep, I really liked it, great write!
-Raging Chaos -
wow, very good write
Thnx for entering & Best of luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
you made me cry that was so sad and yet absolutely beautiful
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WOW......holy CRAP!
MAAAAAAN, you definately stirred up some emotions. I will not waste time telling you my own life story, of how I relate, just that I do. I thank you for entering, and best wishes to you!
Jin -
That was a great write for such a touchy subject. I liked this poem, along with the rhyming. It was a fantastic write.
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interesting
This is a very interesting topic and an awesome idea for a poem. Congratulations on thinking it up. I like the idea of a poem 'written' by someone who doesn't get to be born.
Not sure the language you use in the second line works quite as well as it's not smooth in its flow:
news eliciting unmatched elation.
The simple rhyming scheme gives the poem a sing-song rhythm and i'm not sure that it's the best way to go when you write serious and deep poetry like this.
but overall, I reckon you did a wonderful job.
Have a great day,
BJ.
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Delete the duplicate.
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My middle fingers to every aborter there. Reminded me of some of my favorite songs.
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My middle fingers to every aborter there. Reminded me of some of my favorite songs.
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Wonderful!
Wow. This was amazing. Very well written. I love the rhyme and the way that it flowed. I love the ending and how you connected two totally different stories. You have a very good poem here. I hope you keep up the great writing!
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Powerful and well written, you got your point across well. The twist at the end was masterful.
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awww. this is sad, but beautiful
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Your ideals shine through this piece clearly... you have written this in an intelligent way and I enjoyed it... it was creative and stayed away from cliched imagery and lines... well done
Keep writing
Polly -
wow i love the idea of two storys and the connection at the end, a really good write. i like the way you placed a murder of an expectnt mum with another young mother who was stoping her preganancy it really got your views of abortion across i really like it,
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This is an interesting peeping into two situations that provide limitless sorrow to thousands of people. I think it is important to remind us of the pains of others. Excellent piece!
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WOW!! This was really cool. What a twist. And how true...chilren are a blessing. There are so many alternatives to abortion, but selfishness convinces us that it is the easiest. Thanks for writing this. I loved it!
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