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As clouds collide...

As clouds, collide





As
stormy
clouds collide.
My darling niece
Your fate you feel to
meet, numbing metal ice.
These kind words I have for you.
My heart is sad, yours is hurting,
Shouldn’t have to suffer so much stress.
My love means I shed a tear for your pain,
sending prayers your way don’t leave angel.
Soul shining, talented rainbow-girl,
my graceful niece with curious
engaging, innocent eyes.
You are loved and will be
Strong inside once more.
Lean on me sweets,
my shoulder
waits for
you.

Author notes

The poetry form, Etheree, consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables.

Etheree can also be reversed and written 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

A popular one is the-
Double Etheree: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 9, 8, 7, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

I USED THE DOUBLE ETHEREE OPTION AND WROTE THIS AS A DEDICATION TO MY NIECE CHAR, LOVE HER TO BITEEES

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 20 of 20
  • meena krish
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    Etheree is an interesting form and this write holds
    warm and caring words..nice write.
    Once again sorry about the mix up..
    take care.


  • CinfullyDelicious
    February 20
    Edit | Reply

    <

    Thank you Darling


  • Sadistik
    February 15

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Pancakes

    I love it! the form is great and I feel the love you have for your niece. I like this very much and I can't wait to read more of your stuff. you're a great poetess. Maybe I can find one by you I don;t like

    Well Done


    • CinfullyDelicious
      February 15
      Edit | Reply
      hahahahaha

      Got ya
      lol
      This is the result of lessons, I am taking from a teacher, so sit back and watch my skills grow as I take on one after the other, challenge

      Thanks Dusty, Much appreciated


      Cindy

  • Decorus Somnium
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wow that's so creative, sweet and just beautiful poem. You did a great job. Wish you all the best in the contest!
    Keep writing


  • sunchaser silver member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful piece in style and verse...and loving message...
    sunny


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    OH wow!! beautiful Cin, my wonderful Twin...

    Such a heartfelt piece for your niece. Fantastic job! Really liked the style too.
    Awww

  • x-Black-Butterfly-x silver member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwwwwwwwww I love you too auntie Im so lucky to have you hehe. you make me smile again this is a beautiful piece and i love the form (psst I love you more though) hehe


  • Allan Emery gold member
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent example of an Etheree! The image is strong, and a story is told. Classic.


  • Amera gold member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly a wonderful double Etheree penned in perfect form and syllable count: (I know, I counted them) this poem not only fits the form of a classic Etheree but the shape is beautiful and it can also be called a “Concrete” poem.
    (Concrete poetry, pattern poetry or shape poetry is poetry in which the typographical arrangement of words is as important in conveying the intended effect as the conventional elements of the poem, such as meaning of words, rhythm, rhyme and so on. It is sometimes referred to as visual poetry; a term that has evolved to have distinct meaning of its own, because the words themselves form a picture.)

    The message delivered in the poem is also noteworthy being emotional and sincere. The verbiage does not seem forced and that is difficult to do in an Etheree. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • CinfullyDelicious
      February 7
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, thank you Amera, I was very happy with it myself, but your hgh marks of it, so to speak lol make me all the more confident

      I wanted to tell you too lol, I am a greeter on Sharepoetry and have a few friends etc, who read the challenges, as I have posted them on their aswell and it seems I have inspired a few others to want to give them a go lol. They are doing a great job, maybe even better then me hehehehe.

      I throughly enjoyed the challenge and look forward to the next


      Cindy

  • Poetdontknowit
    February 7

    Edit | Reply

    NICE!!!!!!!!!

    VERY, VERY WELL WRITTEN!!!!!!!! And, I have to say, I'm going to steal your shape! Sad piece, but fantabulous imagery. Good luck in the contest!!!!!
    POETDONTKNOWIT


  • CherryOnTop
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful Cindy..Your words flow with such grace and dignity...

1 - 20 of 20