dust lingers in the
acrid moonbeams
it spreads an infection
men enter and leave
holding their ears tight
to shut out the insistent
screeching
silence
that plays through
their thoughts like the
rose-accented paint
and awakens old fears
of the world noticing
you’re still part of it
a faint smile traces the
dreamer’s open eyes
perhaps pleased with the
blacked-out mirror and
the notion he did a good
job by sweeping
his broken brushes, failed
poems and the shattered
light bulb in the corner
the chair hides by itself
from the things
it can’t imagine anyway, the
carnations on the wall and
the flowers man tries to envision
but always fails to smell
Author notes
Not too sure about this one so far. I personally like it, but am undecided if it's actually any good. Honest feedback would be great.
Written for a contest that required the following poem be read, and which then asked what we felt the room looked like:
in a middle of a room
stands a suicide
sniffing a Paper rose
smiling to a self
"somewhere it is Spring and sometimes
people are in real:imagine
somewhere real flowers,but
I can't imagine real flowers for if I
could,they would somehow
not Be real"
(so he smiles
smiling)"but I will not
everywhere be real to
you in a moment"
The is blond
with small hands
"& everything is easier
than I had guessed everything would
be;even remembering the way who
looked at whom first,anyhow dancing"
(a moon swims out of a cloud
a clock strikes midnight
a finger pulls a trigger
a bird flies into a mirror)
"in the middle of a room" -- e.e. cummings
In a list
Comments
-
I enjoyed reading this piece, finally found a true dark poet. The vocabulary and imagry on this poem is quiet impressive, and the eerie feel is well represented. I enjoy how there is no description of colour through the piece, simply becuase it gives it a duller feel, at least in my opinion. Through reading it, i can't say i find error in the writing or consistancy, suggestions to improve the poem, would be at a few points to use more sophsiticated language, (eg old, fail, open) but that is just a suggestion. Very wonderful read, and I'm going to have to read some more of your works.
-
thanks for entering
-
I fail to smell important things sometimes too.
Adding your comment:
