he screams the pain shoots
through his heart riping it open
leaving a hole behind
gaping and bleeding
she walks away a raven
on one shoulder and crow on the other
both screech with laughter at his pain
he collapses
drops his face in the mud
and pleads for his life
she looks at him with eyes of stone
and he can read the answer as if it were written
on a page before him
so he falls harder and faster
then ever before
in to the dark
he welcomes it to ease his pain
and as a good friend it does
sucks all of the pain form his body
sucks him from his body and lifts him up up
to somewhere unknown
A contest entry
- The Cheating World Of Un-Answered Questions by gothicchildren05.
875 points, ended February 19, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me ANGER!!!!! by PerfectImperfection.
500 points, ended February 15, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who Needs 'Em???? by TwiztidMaggot.
300 points, ended June 8, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Very nicely written... Greatk work, keep it up! gah, My brain isn't working tright right now... rrr. soryr bout the spelling errors... haha. Keep up your good work, best of luck in my contest.
CrimsonViper -
An interesting piece of thought. I do feel it could have had a little something more. Thank you for your entry!
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this is a good piece. a broken heart can be deadly but it doesn't always have to be.....but you are right. when your heart is broken, it feels like everything has been ripped away from you. good piece. thank you for entering and good luck.
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very dark imagery and emotion, i think in your title you have a typo though ... is heat supposed to be heart?
good luck
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