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Little Raincloud Tears

Drip, drip, dropping
Against my windowsill,
The rain just isn't stopping
And I can't seem to sit still.

You said that you'd be here,
That without me you'd be dying -
But instead you left me waiting
All alone, afraid, and crying.

The pebbles in the driveway
Are wet with darkened rain,
But the water rolling off the earth
won't wash away the pain.

Drip, drip, dropping
The little rainclouds cry,
My tears just aren't stopping
As the rain falls from the sky.

Author notes

wrote this (again) during cauldron, just made a few changes the meter is a little off in some spots, but I think it's halfway okay. My muse is coming back bit by bit.

fur elise

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Kikai Ni
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you didn't intend this, but the structure makes it seem kind of sing-song, almost . . . I don't know. It's chilling. I love it.


  • little-hug silver member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully written. It is really emotive. There is such sadness in it but it is written with such delicate words that I know that hope will be born out of the tears. That's when the rainbow comes...
    Brilliant poem.
    Ellie


  • Shesatragedy--x
    April 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
    Omg i love this and in the contest you deserved gold wayyyy above the rest of those poems.You're really amazing.It's not only half-way ok,it's shockingly beautiful.I'm glad you got your muse back,hun.


    • riasme
      April 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks so much!

      • Shesatragedy--x
        April 19, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Don't worry about it! It seems like most of the entries this guy got were simple and unequal to this,because ofcourse i really get this and i think this could go far. Have you tried Poetry.com? They'd probably want to publish you.

        Well,once again, good work =]

  • Sky Prince Ireland gold member
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice words of creativity and imagery. I enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for entering. Good luck.
    Brian


  • Wydra
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful. sadness but the rhyming stops it from being depressing!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    February 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i am happy to see that your muse is returning for her vacation, she was missed, keep it flowing my friend


  • Dutch Doll
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think it is really good, the meter seemed fine to me, rhymed well Very sad but beautiful, nice job using the imagery to fit your emotions...


  • StarIlluminated
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really really good poem! My favorite line: But the water rolling off the earth
    won't wash away the pain.
    That's a really good line. I didn't know you were in cauldron! Well I should've since I think one of your other poems said, "I wrote this in cauldron." haha but very very good poem and the rhyming was really good except for the last line, but that was fine. Maybe you could change skies to sky.
    *KT*


  • Faeryn
    February 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this!

1 - 15 of 15