Madness grips and faces slip,
Keep face. Can words ever
sum-up the wonder of fear?
Twisted at your mercy,
Eyes are bright and tremors slight.
Inside my mind I feel you
falter, but out here I swear you grow colder.
Sheltered 'neath bands of ruin and I can't breathe.
Am I really as ugly as that? Shy away from
eyes wide open, Voices heard and stilled at night.
She approaches nightly, I know you can't hear her.
Her feet cross the floor and my hand's at the door but
take the bite,
take the plunge. Pass me the needle but wrap up
the thread. Stitch my words to the walls and let them hold me.
Won't you hold me? Faces haunt and eyes are gaunt.
Wicked children hunt me down to break my bones and
bite them.
A contest entry
- Dark Thriller Pic Inspired by Tattboyspet.
300 points, ended February 8, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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hey hey hey....
jeez this is scary and powerful stuff, reminds me of sorceresses and magicians, and night and Pathetic fallacies haha.
nice one heath. (hard 'th'. pronounced 'heth' geddit?) -
I have to ask ... why the sudden blunt ending at the end of some of the lines and not others? It took away a great deal for me and I'm not sure whether there was a reason for it. If there is, please explain it to me

other than that, the gist behind it was really enjoyable - thank you for your entry
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It is merely supposed to be untamed and unpatterned. I apologise of you did not take to it.
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OH that is wicked!! The evil imagery it portrays! Simpely exasperating! I think that where it goes "voices heard stilled at night. She approaches nightly" should be worded differantly to improve the flow. Maybe try "Voices heard stilled at dark. She approaches nightly" Of course this is merely a suggestion. All in all a great write. I absolutely enjoyed reading it.


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Maybe you're right about the night thing. I shall recheck it in the morning (or tomorrow evening) should I remember. RIght now though, I must sleep.
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DO SO! LoL
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