The light was lost in the dark,
All senses but one mechanical.
Creating an image with the imaginary,
Hard work and striving plentiful.
Be unnecessary, I close mine eyes
And open my hands to the world.
Wildly stirring, looking for just
A sweet wish, a flower, a pearl!
Beware! There is danger they say:
In knowing this sole heaven on earth
Many have thought to have; and filled
their lives with ventures for dirt.
I am a listener, receipt of one sense,
But one day I shall find and tell
Of the wondrous beauties possessed
And the awe unto which I fell.
A dim glow does rise, even as I speak,
My eyes I strain to see:
Not very distant, the twilit Gold,
A gift appearing meekly.
Astonished I am, my senses vexed;
Is it you they see?
O beautiful God, wherever thou art,
For this feat, blessed be thee!
The subtle fragrance, the sweet smell,
Keep me still and standing.
A little push, my heart starts
To mingle melody and sing.
A closer look, I am realised
Of the misunderstandings abroad.
'tis very easy to chastise the beauty,
The weaker one to laud.
What all I ask now is very little:
O God, a little more light for me!
My one last wish before I end,
A solitary chance to see. God said, "
Never content be thee!"
Author notes
It had started as something completely different, and deeply regretted as one of my greatest failures. After a few weeks, though, I picked up the raw sentences and jumbled around a bit. I revamped the theme and the message, adding a few lines here and there, to bring out 'The Sole Heaven On Earth v1.1'
Finally, I was pretty satisfied with what I had finished with. This is one creation in which I have imbibed subtle realisations of one of the most hypocritically analysed topics we have faced since times immemorial.
PS: If you dunno what that is, a hint is there in the final stanza.
I hope you understand, and appreciate, it fully
A contest entry
- The best of the best of the best by Thedamned77.
405 points, ended February 14, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What doth thou feel?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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First off, let say thanks for entering this wonderful poem in my contest. Secondly, I wanna say this is a marvelously abstract poem and I love how you discuss an important topic without ever saying outright what it is. I enjoyed it all, but i have to say my favorite part is this:
Beware! There is danger they say:
In knowing this sole heaven on earth
Many have thought to have; and filled
their lives with ventures for dirt.
The way I interpreted this (I might be wrong) was that people will waste away their lives searching for the meaning or most important thing in life when really all they had to do was live it. That and there's always someone who thinks they've found that marvelous thing. Usually several someones. It really comes down to what's most important to you personally. I really enjoyed this. thank you. -
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hey! thanks for your wonderful comments on my piece. Your inference was right, though the main theme is 'WOMAN' (the last stanza is an acrostic for that)
also,"In knowing this sole heaven on earth
Many have thought to have;" means that people dont realise and appreciate the real beauty of a woman and run for something absolutely different (our definition of beauty is quite distorted for that matter)
as it goes later, "'tis very easy to chastise the beauty,
The weaker one to laud."
just thought you ought to know
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nicey nice...!
good one...one of my regrets..of not having seen the acrostic on the first glance...and realising the beauty of the piece when this wasnt infront of me...hmm..GOOD !!hehe
sum exceptionally nice lines..but on a more personal front...i really don't think it neelesh speaking...
hahahahaaa !![curse me all you want ! hehe]
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I think that you have expressed your feelings very clearly and beautifully here. There is nothing here to say any different... your words are very powerful and personal. And while my own may be different from yours, I respect your honesty to yourself and what you believe.
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good one mate- chooser of the slan
thats what the name Valkyrie means in the Nors dreaming time! But a good veres, at that: add more lore to it in older English, use some Epic thunder me lassie.
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this feels good to me!
you've certainly got my attention on this one...
especially these three ending stanzas...
"The subtle fragrance, the sweet smell,
Keep me still and standing.
A little push, my heart starts
To mingle melody and sing.
A closer look, I am realised
Of the misunderstandings abroad.
'tis very easy to chastise the beauty,
The weaker one to laud.
What all I ask now is very little:
O God, a little more light for me!
My one last wish before I end,
A solitary chance to see. God said, "
Never content be thee!"
HMMMMMMMMMMMMM never content be thee?
quite a different take on contentment!
mike, aka jonathan wikkins
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